The Last Thing You Will Read, Is this Crap!

UV Protection Arm Sleeves only RM15 per pair

2011-09-14T13:39:00.001+08:00

High quaility product,100% New and Unversal Size

UV Protection for various outdoor activities such as golf, tennis, fishing, baseball, climbing, jigging, cycling, soccer or driving etc.

Cooling Feel after wear

Handwash with clear water only and dry in shade

Don't soak in washing powder & bleach

Size: Universal

Material: Spandex, Polyurethane, Nylon 88%TACTEL 12%LYCRA

Color: Pink/Black/Blue/Purple/White/Grey/Yellow(please contact us for the color requirment when you order)

Length: 39cm and elastic

The Reunion

2009-12-29T23:53:00.002+08:00

Had a blast with a handful of old folks, I mean old timers. Doesn't sound right does it? Well school mates all the way back from high school since 1994 I think. It brought back some of my fond memories, not that i want to share it with you here. (almost got recognized by a dude who claimed I punch him in the face, in the toilet knowingly I said that was someone else).

Anyway, it was a wedding dinner and was very honored that I was invited to it. Thanks again Nicole. Again I want to apologize to those I have totally forgotten your names and vaguely recognizable face, either you're stretch sideways, wind blew off your hair or someone graffitied your face, so please do accept my humble apology or if I have insulted any of you old timers! One for the road cheers!

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

2009-12-28T01:14:00.001+08:00

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from me. Thank you all for visiting my blog and making comments. I wish the best for you and your family in 2010. I'm looking forward to the New Year and creating some fresh post. I'm already working on it now. Have a safe and fun holiday, see you next year!

That Drink Which Sends You To The Grave!

2009-12-24T09:27:00.001+08:00

With just mere appearance of that drink send shivers down my spine. Yesterday was the night I made the plunge again! I told my self many many years ago that I wouldn’t touch it ever again. That drink is so disgusting and is not meant to be bought for your own consumption. Instead they are ordered around for your friends whom you wanted revenge or as birthdays presents. Hopefully I will learn my lesson again not to gulp it down in matter of seconds but fortunately I had help from a friend who also gobbled up the drink without knowing the consequences. Whatever happens after that you'll definitely have a great laugh at his expense. Today drinking rules are no different now when your out drinking with friends is if they buy a round then you buy the next round. So let’s say you buy Flaming Lamborghini, AK47, tequila shot and Royal stout and they’ll buy Graveyard in return. That way isn’t fair and that drink is worse then death.

Recipe for Graveyard
1 Triple sec stout
1/2 shot Bacardi® 151 rum
1/2 shot vodka
1/2 shot gin
1/2 shot Tequila
1/2 shot bourbon whiskey
1/2 shot Scotch whisky
1 Beer

Flaming Lamborghini
1 shot kahlua
1 shot Bailey's Irish Cream
1 shot Blue Curacao
1 shot sambuca flaming

Bad Debtors

2009-12-22T12:02:00.004+08:00

What is Bad Debtors?

"Business accounts receivable that have been included in income that are uncollectible, legally binding debts owed to you that are uncollectible, and debts you must pay that you guaranteed in connection with your business or for a profit may be deductible as bad debts."

So the story begins here. There are times business relationship has to be put aside when money is owed and unpaid to us over a certain period of time. Sending a 'Notice of Demand' from the lawyers will be the last resort and that isn't what we really wanted if we intend to prolong our business relationship. Unfortunately that isn't the story.

Furthermore if the clients intend to deviate to other suppliers from us, we should be informed of non business activity with us and not mis-informing us of more future jobs. This will in hand gives us the idea that there will be more business opportunity and we had invested in materials which are to cater for our clients needs. End of the day this is operating cost which we should not bare as well.

Kotobukiya HMM Iron Kong

2009-12-22T10:12:00.001+08:00

Since I was so bloody busy (lazy) a friend of mine got this for me last night. So drove all the way to his house in Sg Besi and collect my goods. When i first saw it with my own eyes I swear i had an orgasm, it's one of the biggest HMM zoids ever made and the sweetest of cause! I can't wait to built this 'little' fucker before the year ends else there wouldn't be enough time for me to work on it. Paid RM380 for it but with a Xmaz Cash Voucher worth RM50. Not bad at all for a Christmas give for me self.

Aging Without Dignity

2009-12-21T14:23:00.001+08:00

I find myself aging when I farted last night. I use to be able to control the burst duration and volume level but it seems that I can no longer do that. My butt cheek muscles have weakened rendering any form of air venting releasing uncontrollably. Had a lot of complaints that night, like waking, wait it should be stunned the baby up from his beautiful sleep. Belief me i really thought I was able to handle the bellowing from my ass, sounded like a mad whale! Really miss those purring sound, which I had before.

Sub Contract Job On ESSO Station

2009-12-20T23:51:00.007+08:00

For the pass 3 months I have been busting my ass refurbishing Esso Petrol Station around Klang Valley. To date I've nailed 7 stations all together and there are 44 stations under my contract next year. I am indeed very fortunate to be honored with this job which could finance my company for months to come. The job is to clean, change all illuminated signages, repaint non-illuminated signages and install a new yellow building sign for Esso under re-branding name "On the Run", as you already know they were called "Tiger Mart".

Some pictures of my latest job which was in Genting Highlands spent like a week there under freezing temperatures.

My workers installing On The Run back frame

Completed this one in Sg. Besi 2

It's Funny How Facebook Works.

2009-12-19T10:37:00.001+08:00

It works just fine, especially when you type something in that "What's on your mind?" column. Instantaneous reaction from your circle of friends. Anyway just read me blog there's 5 years of nonsense crap which nobody reads.

ok before anybody says anything let me just answer this "YES I HAVE A BLOG!"

My Son's Poooop

2009-12-19T09:57:00.003+08:00

Let me just tell you for those who don't have a baby yet. You are about to embark on a creamy journey into the world of baby poop! Yes, this blog post is devoted to my son's crap. There are times which you should know what comes out of my son's pretty little bottom. For those that are already veterans, well nothing new here.

From my visible and physical experience of poop. There are few type of them.

Dark black Poop - Usually newborn who had just came out from the mother's womb.
Yellow Poop - It smell like peanut butter where you spread on your bread every morning
Palette Poop - It looks like little 1 cent coin poop, sometimes lucky you get a total of 5-8cents a day. This is due to little liquid intake.

I somehow did an observation, found out that parents like to smell their baby's crap. Reason being, we're trying to diagnose what they lack and study ways to improve the smell so that it won't stink. In fact baby poop doesn't stink. If it does stink when you put your nose close to it then you will have to taste it to reconfirm.

Another advise I want to add. If so happens you get poop on your fingers don't get too excited, you probably won't get a chance to be poop on again when he grows up. Better savor it now then not having shit on next time.

Next post I'll probably talk about my son's peee

Christmaz Holidays

2009-12-18T13:55:00.003+08:00

The best holiday I will be spending with my wife at Fraser's Hill this coming 24th December. Come to think of it's has been more than a year now since we've been up with her pregnancy and all. Got an apartment and invited some married couples to join us with some pot luck food in mind. Weather will be awesome since it's end of the year cold season. Better leave my son with my parents to look after then.

My Son!

2009-12-17T21:15:00.006+08:00

Thought I might want to add something to this dead blog. Not that anyone is reading it now.

Introducing my new born son!

When my wife was pregnant with my first child I imagined I am headed towards the most dramatic event of my life. I was right about that but it was nothing like I expected it to be. I was worn out from what I thought was a very long day of waiting cause it really look like i was waiting for eternity for my son to be born. When he arrived the nurse showed me a bloody, screaming, baby on a small bucket and it took my brain a few minutes to even sink in that what I'm seeing is really a piece of me. I wasted no time and begun searching for that little pride of his and of cause to make sure everything was attached to where it belongs.

That very moment, emotions which i haven't felt before sets in. It felt like a bad father thing. I didn't know anything about this strange little creature and didn't know what will I do from then on. I was almost helpless. As time passes, when my nerves are calm, it was a bundle of joy and that came later which overwhelmed me with the feelings that I felt for my baby. It took some time, however, and I have since learned from other that my experience was not unusual. Fatherbond with their babies differently. No one way is right or wrong. It is a process that we each go through differently.

Commitments = Death

2008-06-23T16:18:00.004+08:00

I'm about to embark on a self mutilation programme. It's called Commitments. Commiting myself in property investment worth RM740k is a little on the high side. There are times i wish the bank will reject my home loan application when i have second thoughts after handing in my well made personal financials. On the other hand the great lake view with the gardens of eden surrounding, posh english furnish and fittings is just too temping. For the sake of my new family, animals, they need a roof over their heads. So the plan is this, every month myself will take a dive in this lake while tying a 20kg rock at my feet. Commitments = Death

My Home Malaysia

2008-05-30T16:29:00.002+08:00

I'm proud to be Malaysian..... the producer rejected my offer to be in the MTV.

Change Over Time

2008-05-30T10:42:00.002+08:00

I've observed long enough to say this... things change, people change and life changes everyday. Some things change in the blink of an eye: You work hard all your life, save money, correct mistakes, plan for the future but in an instant your life is changed by a heart attack, a stroke, a sudden diagnosis of stage four cancer. Or your loved one dies. Or your lover abandons you for someone else. Or you lose all your material possessions. Everything can change over night. Other things change dramatically over time. Your once-youthful body deteriorates into old age. We like to think that love itself is unconditional, but we find over and over again that people fall out of love. People can even disown their children. Best friends fall into disfavor. Cherished colleagues drift apart. New cars and houses become old and need repair or replacement. Even a house of solid stone and steel is composited. The tiny particles in the stones and steel are subject to weathering. They break down. The highest mountains will break down too over the course of time.

So far all of this has been stated in a rather negative light. Change brings suffering and so does suffering bring change! So what i've learned from all this is to have a form of disciplines to go through these changes. To focus and to work toward something. Because everything changes, our mental processes can change too. Our understanding can change. Our expectations can change. This is the path of liberation, of seeing things as they really are.

Japanese Sex Dolls

2008-05-29T13:42:00.005+08:00

What can i say, Japanese really make their products good and life like. Japanese Sex dolls the latest crazed in Japan, one would cost few thousand for the whole body and few hundred just for the head. Made from special silicon mix with health properties which enhances the skin life like texture. The limbs can be articulated to the position of your liking. Do you know the pubic hair is made from stitching real human pubic hair to make it as life like as possible?? The vigana part is 90% accurate and it feels like having sex with the real women. I belief picture speaks a thousand words... you judge for yourself.

Cardboard Pau!

2008-05-27T14:22:00.002+08:00

Countless small, often illegally run operations exist across China and make money cutting corners by using inexpensive ingredients or unsavory substitutes. They are almost impossible to regulate.
China Central Television's undercover investigation report features the shirtless, shorts-clad maker of the buns — called baozi — talking about how the product was sold in a neighborhood in Beijing's sprawling Chaoyang district.

The hidden camera follows the man, whose face is not shown, into a ramshackle building where steamers are filled with the fluffy white buns, traditionally stuffed with minced pork.
The surroundings are filthy, with water puddles and piles of old furniture and cardboard on the ground.
"What's in the recipe?" the reporter asks. "Six to four," the man says.
"You mean 60 percent cardboard? What is the other 40 percent?" asks the reporter. "Fatty meat," the man replies.

The bun maker and his assistants then give a demonstration on how the product is made.
Squares of cardboard picked from the ground are first soaked to a pulp in a plastic basin of caustic soda — a chemical base commonly used in manufacturing paper and soap — then chopped into tiny morsels with a cleaver. Fatty pork and powdered seasoning are stirred in.
Soon, steaming servings of the buns appear on-screen. The reporter takes a bite.
"This baozi filling is kind of tough. Not much taste," he says. "Can other people taste the difference?"
"Most people can't. It fools the average person," the maker says. "I don't eat them myself."
The police eventually show up and shut down the operation.

So if you see people picking up cardboard box, you wonder whether it is used for recycling or recycled in pau meat?

Naruto Who?!

2008-05-27T09:55:00.004+08:00

Don't blame me for not knowing what is Naruto? I've heard seas of people talking about it and just a week ago i finally got the curiosity to search Wikipedia for it. And this is what i was enlighten with. Didn't know that this Japanese cartoon has so many credits and so many episodes plus few movies of it was produced! Must be good i thought to myself. So doing what normal people will do, download the episodes from the internet and i was surprised how fast the first season were downloading. Due to countless people seeding, must be the popularity.

I got my wife to watch it with me upon downloaded a few of it's episodes. I'll sum it short, it's a pretty intense anime that evolves around this ninja boy named Naruto. The anime is packed with emotions, power struggle and friendship. The sound effects and music were probably the highlights on all the episode i've seen so far. I know it's a good anime when my wife started shedding tears in episode 2....of a total of 250+ episodes. Alright alright...... Dust went into my eyes!

Commander EdMaestro

2008-05-27T09:35:00.007+08:00

I felt that managing a factory is like commanding a battalion of soldiers. I went to the brink many times. A couple of times I thought "I'm giving up.... This is it!" But then I would just keep working. I think if you're close to the brink and just make sure that you work twice as hard and put twice as much effort into everything and the staff around you and everything, you should come through. From what i can see in my factory, people are definitely a company’s greatest asset. It doesn't make any difference whether the product is toys or cars, a company is only as good as the people it keeps.

"Management is nothing more than motivating other people".

WTH!

2008-05-26T11:32:00.004+08:00

What the hell happened here? not blogging for months. Claiming that i was busy will be totally absurd, to assume that i broke my hands will be silly and to say that im dead is unimaginable! Well i'm re-posting something here to my blog now and I hope for those who visited me for the past months will pardon me for my disappearance. Oh, im around alright, still loitering around watering holes, wandering on cyberspace pouncing on faces to add to my collection of friends.

Just a small update on my personal life. It has been a year since I married, things has been like a morning of glory, noon of paradise and night of moonlighting. I am happy and great as can be having someone that truly understands the meaning of a relationship and even better a wife that spoils me of constant pampering. About the baby thing, I havn't really plug the hole and splash it with gum for I 'was' planning for the right time. Well the right time is already here been doing push-ups with no hands, do you know how hard a steel rod is?

For now things has gone the way it should, my wife has her own SALOON & BOUTIQUE now and my business has been tremendously good for the year.

Dear Blog

2007-12-08T09:46:00.000+08:00

I wanna say how much i have missed you. *not. Everyday i cradle my pc just to be with you. *yea right. Itching every single day to pen my thoughts on you. *oh don't bother. How I have regretted not penning anything even for a single minute. *whatever. But i promise I will brighten up your face with lovely pixies and flowery words. *sleep better.

Yours,
EDMaestro

Accident - Crane Toppled

2007-09-25T01:38:00.000+08:00

I shot these pictures right after it happened was just 100 meters from my office. Upon closer look, the crane was trying to haul a steel beam in such an angle that it toppled the crane upright! I guess the steel beam is much heavier than it looks. Oh, the crane operator escaped unhurt by jumping out from the cockpit. Overall damages includes factory scarf holdings and building steel frame which was twisted and broke apart like toothpicks.

Happy Birthday Malaysia

2007-08-31T12:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Merdeka with a Bang! To commemorate the nation’s 50th year of independence, I shall visit the Toilet 50 times. Starting from midnight till this morning went 3 times already due to cirit-birit (spicy sensation). Malaysia boleh, saya pun boleh.

Thanks for reading, now i need to flush.

Evan Almighty Review

2007-08-20T09:32:00.000+08:00

My wife and I just watched Evan Almighty yesterday. It’s definitely a movie that everyone should watch although some say it’s a religious film. It made me laugh especially when Evan Baxter (Steve Carell) did his white-man dance. Evan Baxter doesn’t really portray a crazy dude like Jim Carey in Bruce Almighty and that’s a good thing. I bet everyone had enough of Jim Carey by now, so this film is something fresh as compared to its predecessor. Well again Morgan Freeman played God (Black God?). I guess the producers in both the Almighty’s film didn’t want people to think it’s a white man’s film. It’s a good blend with good acting from Morgan. Go watch it!

Lush Our 3 Review

2007-08-17T09:43:00.000+08:00

Out of the blue last night my wife and I decided to catch a movie. Well, watching movie on weekdays is definitely better than the weekends, no crowd, no queue and unpack cinema. Phew! I remember once I sat next to a guy who has the ability to cause severe eye watering and choking sensation with his BO powers. (Body Odor). I had to put the popcorn right on my face to desolved the acidic attack. Thank God for popcorns.

Ok, like all Rush Hour's movies, it's hilarious bro! Chris Tucker has put on some weight since the last time i saw him on RH2 but his explosive sarcasm and cheesy outburst never failed to make me laugh. And for Jackie Chan he with all those SKII he put on won't be able to stop human aging factor but he is still fit for fights and small stunts. He is just to serious in this movie, maybe menopause. Unlike those days he jumps from bridges and buildings and break a few bones and he's up walking again. As far as Hollywood is concerned, 'stunt man' is a must, risk losing or injuring an actor like him is too much of a liability.

This is a typical Jackie Chan’s movie with crazy stunts and funny fights, using props as weapons or defenses. Further illustration...... Noémie Lenoir as Genevieve in the movie as a walking "List" of names tattoo to her Bald head that contains the name of all the triad bosses' name. She turned good so all the baddies wanted her dead before the list falls into good hands. Let me stress this again, she is so hot that she looks naked.......... ummm on the head.

It's a great movie to watch when you have bad day at work. Laugh it out and you will feel better.

Me Back!

2007-08-16T10:11:00.000+08:00

I’m back. Wow it’s been awhile I’ve not posted anything here. Must pardon my absence ya. Anyways, this few weeks I’ve been totally beat up by work. I really need a holiday, which will be in 1-month time. I’ll be taking a long one. You guys can still tell that I’m still nite-out partying from those pictures I posted on Multiply.

Hmm, people been asking me what I’ve been up to lately, “making babies” are the most common! So common that you guys are 50% right. The other 50% efforts are mainly of finding money to sustain the future family, which also reduces the time I can spend for my self and the things I love to do.

Talking about the things I love to do. If you have read my previous post on Zoids I’m crazy over them for the past few weeks. I did mentioned before I started collecting them when I was 10 but stop collecting in the early 90’s due to studies abroad and of cause financial constraint then. Now being able to buy them with my own money really felt good. So this is my favorite pass time now. And oh anyone who still have their old Zoids can sell them to me.

As for my wife she arrrr.... online selling beauty products and fashion for women. Anyone interested can let me know or visit this site Cutie Fashion. (hold down Shift and click link to open in new window). If there's anything you like she will explain how you can purchase on C.O.D. Please help out ya!

Life at this juncture for me is great.

ZOIDS!

2007-06-20T14:31:00.000+08:00

Wow, where was I in the '80's when these babies came out? Obviously collecting ZOIDS! I remember when I was in Standard 5, I have been interested in Zoids at that time but never bought one because they were too expensive, not that I can afford it. So I pester my parents to get me one, they didn't. I remembered calling my grandmother all the way from Johore to buy it for me in KL. And you know what? The first ever Zoids I got was from my grandmother. The rest was "you see… grandma got me my first Zoids" and the rest came naturally from my parents, hehehe..

Behold Tomy is reissuing many of the Zoids and even creating some new ones! Look for them at your local hobby store and they are currently sold in Toys 'R' Us & departmental stores. I don't think there is ever any hardcore collector nowadays. Thankfully the wonders of the Internet also allow us to mail order these straight from Japan. Since smitten by the Zoid bug, I've never bought one Zoids for myself until last week and only after 20 years! Really brought back memories. Toys 'R' Us only had a handful of boxes left of Zoids, yet I have to remove the dust from the boxes. I guess it has been left there for ages and no one buys them. I even suspect they aren't distributing this in Malaysia anymore. (hope not)

I also tried to locate some vintage 80's Zoids. If anyone wants to sell them at a decent price. I will gladly buy them.

By the way for those that doesn't know what Zoids are. Out of the box it comes in parts which you need to assemble just like any Gundam figurine. You can paint them if you want. They are all animated collectibles, some are battery powered and some have windup motors. The linkage of moving parts is really amazing engineering, they are marvelous to watch.

Out of the box

Vintage Zoids 1982 the first Zoids (not my collection):

MY COLLECTION FROM THE 1980'S

My First Zoids in 1988

1989
(i'm missing a tusk and an ear, guess I must have swallowed it when I was young)

1988

1990

1989

1991

1989

1988

1990

1989

1991

Which I bought Recently 2007

Watta Weekend

2007-06-18T09:46:00.001+08:00

This was the weekend we spent to ourselves as married couples amidst the barrage of people last weekend who wanted to pinch our cheeks, shakes our hands, sign autographs and relentless paparazzi who wanted our photos. (nah....) It's hard to fathom what a soul mate really is, especially when it's elusive to many. But ironically, on Online Dictionary the phrase "soul mate" yielded "friend", "pal", "playmate", "companion", "partner" and "chum". Thus, I shall continue to leave it to divine providence and maybe a little bit of creative romancing. Anyway, for the record, I did have a good time. And it got very hot and sweaty in the process last night!.......

You would be too if you ate steamboat for fathers day and that's what we did at dinner.

I still wake up everyday with hearts fluttering at the thought of beloved. I had to think HarD about the future before it's too late to add some 'zing' in the relationship. I guess to preserving love, is to simply make it fresh everyday. Simply put it as how I would hose water from my pipe to my ever beautiful Bald Virginia Desert Cactus. (some cactus are Bushy with ferns like hair) This is how all man should keep his cactus fresh.

Anyway here's what we did on our weekends:

Friday - Dragon-i for dinner, Cafe Flam for holes (i meant wateringholes)
Saturday - Kim Gary for lunch, The Sanctuary for boobz (hiccups, i meant booze as in beer)
Sunday - Subang Parade for shopping, Dome cafe for nicotine, Steamboat for dinner,
Movie Marathon at TGV (watched Fantastic 4 right after Shrek 3)

Multiply Photos

2007-06-14T15:25:00.000+08:00

For more photos please go to our MULTIPLY

Into Every Life

2007-06-13T09:26:00.000+08:00

Since I just got married, I'm trying to do things that keep me feeling young, of course, I am young; but there's something about being married that makes you feel just a little bit older. Oh well. Into every life...no I guess I don't have anything philosophical to say.

Everything went on very well for us from the day of retrieving the bride to the wedding dinner. I have received a lot of compliments on the presentation on the entire nights occasion. The video presentation was good, the DJ cum MC was good, the food, the music, the lightings, the settings, the services and lots more. From my standpoint of view it may not look as outstanding as I want it to be since I am the one planning everything since day 1 but I guess from my guests perspective it was pretty good! I'm just glad it was over, I can't go through another day thinking about what is it that I have not done and that 'butterfly in-the-stomach' feeling. So for the past 2 days I had lots of sleep and numb legs.

And Oh, I did not get drunk, phew. The thought of walking to 52 tables and yum sing was dreadful. I guess some were not easily fooled by the ice-cubes Chinese Tea that I was holding the entire night. Some inescapable tables meant one full glass of unsaturated whiskeys for me. I had to put on a drunken stage act if I were to stay alive. So the night ended with lots of smile, handshakes and compliments. I knew from then on it was a success. I owed thanks to many people and you know who you are.

I'm still waiting for the DVD and pictures taken on the night of our wedding. I will post an update on that.

Exceptional Day!

2007-06-06T20:54:00.000+08:00

Well this time i strike lottery today, been waiting for this to happen to me. Last month I forgot to buy and it came out 2nd price, i posted it on Aaaarrrggh post. Better than nothing RM600 on 5186. Well newly weds are definitely Ong. Gonna buy bigger this time.

It has been an exceptionally different day today, lucky, i guess. First thing in the morning I went to the bank to do a loan for my company and the bank approved it. Later that afternoon Melon a friend asked me out for lunch and even gave me a business opportunity but the surprising thing was i couldn't even remember when was the last time we had lunch!

I drove back to office and within an hour or so another friend Dyrenforx calls me up for tea time, this dude has never call me up for drinks! Thanks for being my camera man on my marriage. Gosh I was taken by surprised at what went on today.

Thanks guys!

GYStreamyx!

2007-06-06T20:48:00.000+08:00

Vrrrroooom!

2007-06-06T09:20:00.001+08:00

Hmm... which Ferrari should I take to drive to work today? Wooo hooo!, Woot Woot!, Here we go now..Here we go now! Put your hands up in the air! I collected all 6 Ferraris from Shell. Pump petrol gila babi, have to search whole of Selangor to do that cause not all Shells have all 6 cars, the toughest was the F1 car and my lovely wife found it for me, she's the MAN!!.

I'm such a FREAK!

A Story

2007-06-04T16:36:00.000+08:00

Recently I have found out about things which I don't realized from this marriage of mine. Some things are happy and some are quite disappointing. I'm mainly talking about friendship here, friends whom I thought of least came true for me but friends who I had high hopes, disappoints me. As all of you know, 'Hing Tai' which in turn meant, good buddies, friends which I've known for years are the supporting arm for my marriage and I expect great deal from them. I was turned down by a friend which I consider the most understanding and supportive person. I expect him to be with me all the way and go down the history book together. In the end not only he will not be my 'Hing Tai', he won't even attend my wedding. Not because he couldn't make it but a reason that shocked the life out of me based on a miss guided understanding. There are things, not meant to be mentioned here but lets put it this way, here's how the story goes:-

I'm a sheep who lived with other sheeps for many years up and through a rocky mountain. And one day I had decided it's enough of climbing this tough rocky mountain and I told the other sheeps that I will be leaving for a better life. Hence I jump off this rocky moutain and after months of searching I finally found green pasture. But just when I was about to ask all of my sheeps on the rocky mountain to celebrate with me, I found out I was already been labeled a Black Sheep for eating in the green pasture even before I jumped off from the rocky mountain months ago. I do not know what gave the other sheep that idea but I was upset on the conclusion. So all the sheeps on the rocky mountain is framing me for eating the green pasture way before i told them I was to jump off. Like I've said the rocky mountain is a tough climb. So in short the sheeps that will not celebrate with me is the ones on the rocky mountain. All the other sheeps on the green pasture knew very well I'm a new comer.

It doesn't matter if you understand what i am posting here, i just felt that i need to get it of my chest.

The bond by blood is stronger than the bond by years of friendship.

That New Room

2007-06-01T10:27:00.000+08:00

Jokes

2007-05-31T09:15:00.000+08:00

I received this forward from a friend. You might want to read it if you want to have a good laugh. I did.

Subject: Q&A

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?!!!!!!!!!!!!
A: The boy friend's hand.

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".

The Green Hornet

2007-05-30T13:53:00.000+08:00

I just got back from fitting on my nice set of suit. I must say, remember "The Green Hornet" series? I look just like that, well not like Bruce Lee but what he had on. Minus the glove, the hat and the mask. It will be good if i can have them all on.

Anyway, we got a surprised by Vogue Collection. They have requested permission to make another copy of our Wedding Album as sample reference for their customers. And I modestly obliged. Hoping that I will get paid for using our faces.

And In Return:-

Vogue Collection Wedding Galary
No. 76 Jalan SS2/24
47300 Petaling Jaya
Selangor Darul Ehsan
03-78779199
Mr. Daniel

10 Days

2007-05-30T09:46:00.000+08:00

There won't be much updates for now. I'll be taking some time-off from here to prepare for my "Lou Chan" Day.Past few days, I've been busy with tonnes of planning from Catering, Bridal Fitting, Liquor Sourcing, Restaurant Layout & Planning and finalizing wedding guest list. It may not sound much but it's a lot of work belief me. I just recovered from a serious migraine yesterday. I'm not exactly proficient with all this planning it's my first time but I gotta start somewhere. I figured it would be good if I get myself familiar with all this and i could later be a wedding planner. Yea....

I need to make strategic planning for retrieving my bride on June 9th. I've made reconnaissance and identified 3 boobs blockades which my Hing Tai and I will need to take down. Although some of us will fall, they will be remembered but remember the objective - Protect Alpha Dawg!

EdMaestro Crappy Mini Poll Results 2

2007-05-30T09:33:00.000+08:00

Oh well, as compared to my previous mini poll, I guess this Down-To-Earth Poll was boring for some of you. Anyhow here's how I voted, "NO", I don't feel that is necessary to spend tax payers money of 8Bil to increase the salary of civil servants and their other misc expenses. I felt that even with this increase the services will still be the same and corruption will still be there. It take years to nurture our young to become who they are when they grow up and this won't happened over night with this salary increment. I bet even with this increase, people will still be able to pay summons on the spot. :P

Do remember to vote for the new mini poll, trust me it won't be bored.

How Often Should One Have Sex?

2007-05-26T09:47:00.000+08:00

Somebody hear me out, A bad sex life is massively psychologically damaging! You can see this in people who aren’t getting laid or are having bad sex…they seem perpetually bitter and negative. They can’t help it. As human beings, we’re training to need great sex just as much as we need food and water. Without it, we lose our mental well-being. It’s a feeling of total relaxation and contentment, of being completely at peace with the world. And, having lots of great sex will actually make you live longer. Medical science confirms this…according to this article, people who have more than 200 orgasms a year “can reduce their physiological age by six years”.

Question 10: According to Dr. Oz, how often should you have sex?
A) Once a week
B) Twice a week
C) 10 times a month
D) 200 times a year or more

The correct answer is D.

“If you have more than 200 orgasms a year, you can reduce your physiologic age by six years,” Dr. Oz says. He bases the number on a study done at Duke University that surveyed people on the amount and quality of sex they had. “They looked at what happened to folks that are having a lot of intercourse over time, and the fact is, it correlated.”

Among the benefits of having sex often, Dr. Oz says, is that it can prove that your body is functioning as it is supposed to. “But in addition, having sex with someone that you care for deeply is one of the ways we achieve that Zen experience that we all crave as human beings,” he says. “It’s really a spiritual event for folks when they’re with someone they love and they can consummate it with sexual activity … seems to offer some survival benefit.”

I got this Original article from Oprah.com .Yes, Oprah.com! Even Oprah agrees that people need great sex on a regular basis in order to stay happy and healthy. I hope my wife is reading this post. :P

New Mini Poll

2007-05-26T09:43:00.000+08:00

People are just not voting on my new poll. Guess it's a boring question. Will changed it as soon it expires. Apologised for the boringness caused.

Starcraft II

2007-05-24T10:09:00.001+08:00

It's coming It's coming!! Brings back memories, I remember during my Uni days in the States when Blizzard first announced the release of Starcraft 1 and I queued up for the pre-released of 500 copies of the game at BestBuy right before New Year of 97/98. If I missed it I would have to wait until Spring 1998. It was freezing at 8:30am and people are already queuing up. For USD 48.00 it's worth it as I've played the game on Battle.net right up till 2003.

StarCraft was the best-selling computer game in 1998 and won the Origins Award for Best Strategy Computer Game of that year. Nine million copies of StarCraft and its expansion pack, StarCraft: Brood War have been sold since its release. It is especially popular in South Korea, where professional players and teams participate in matches, earn sponsorships, and compete in televised matches. That was why Blizzard officially annnounced it's appearance of Starcraft 2 in South Korea on May 19, 2007.

As you may not know Blizzard Entertainment have won countless Awards for Best Game of The Year: World of Warcraft, Warcraft 1/2/3 Series, Diablo 1&2 and finally Starcraft 1. It's definitely worth buying Ori for this game.

Champions League final

2007-05-24T09:22:00.000+08:00

RESULTS:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

EdMaestro Crappy Mini Poll Results

2007-05-23T10:28:00.000+08:00

Yes the results are out after 3 months of voting. Here's how my readers voted and I take it they voted sincerely, honestly and without prejudice. In No. 1 Spot X-Ray Visson with 44% votes overall. Why would people want X-Ray vision? Tell me.... does Invisibility 2nd Spot have anything in common with X-Ray Vision?? What surprises me was people don't want to be rich and that goes for only 5% votes. Gosh, anyway a new Mini Poll will be up this late afternoon so keep voting, ummm for the sake of voting.

My Celebrities Gossip

2007-05-23T09:25:00.000+08:00

I would like to share what I have read in some gossip mags that I came across but in my own writing. I couldn't remember when was the last time I gossipted in my blog but hey if I didn't, this will be my first post.

Paris Hilton, what can I say? She still doesn't admit that she was guilty for violating a probation order and driving with a suspended license. Usually when people are in wrong, we will have to stand up for the mistakes and admit it in court. She still insist that she doesn't deserve it. As a socialite, party princess who is blond known for her care-less attitude, and being such a dumb-founded women says she didn't know that it was a violation for driving with a suspended license and was told by her manager that it was "ok" without it. Hence she fired him right after attending court. The magazine also states that she was treated unfairly (yea right) and "the sentence is both cruel and unwanted" She is due in prison on June 5.

Celebrities never learn as u can see in this Paris Hilton Sex Footage Click Here

Gotcha!

Have you heard?? Spideyman Sony Pictures has announced that there will be 3 more movies. However, the directors has not confirm if they are coming back for the 4th installment and beyond. I wonder if Mary Jane will have eight babies like a spider would. If "Cicak Man" have 8 babies KL will be a much safer place to live in.

Booby Spears, she is making a come back (wakakakaka) after all that celebrity stunt she pulled on her self?! Let me summarize, Married + Babies + Career down drain + Spilt with KF + KF gets half her worth $$ + she is 50% poorer now. Yeap she is making a cum back alright.

The magazines says that she was performing "identical lip-synced routine" on stage as she has forgotten all her lyrics on her own songs. Perhaps too much cocaine use and long party nites with friend Paris Hilton. The House of Blue gave her 12 minutes to perform and she ended it by saying "Thank You Soooooooooooo Much"

Digi Ambassador Is Mine! Muahahaha

2007-05-21T10:32:00.000+08:00

I just got my new number with Digi's Ambassador Plan a number one motivation for today whopeee! Unlike regular postpaid call plans, this one has the following extra benefits:

no monthly fees (save RM 50- RM80)
free calls, free sms, free voice, free mms and free nationwide to 016 Hurray!!!

So I get Premier plan rates to other telco numbers (that’s only 0.20 sen/min nationwide, 0.15sen/sms), free calls to 016 numbers and no monthly fees (savings of more than RM 100 every month). How good is that?

If you are thinking about going to a DiGi dealer to register an Ambassador call plan, they will probably tell you sorry no such plan here. They don't offer it at any Digi Centre or any Digi Dealers. If you have friends or relatives that are working in DiGi that’s the only way to get it but very limited. You will get it but after 6 months of shouting "where is my ambassador plan????".

I want to thank Ms. W. I. Yap of DiGi for allocating me into her Ambassador plan.

Masturbation Notice

2007-05-18T10:57:00.000+08:00

I can't belief what I have read! See for yourself. LOL Please click to enlarge image.

WIFI Issues

2007-05-16T11:16:00.001+08:00

Recently, one of friends told me that his Internet speed seems to be crawling. He's connecting to the Internet using wireless adapters and routers, ie, a home wireless network.

This is what I've found out from him.

1. His SSID was set to 'broadcast'. This means that any nearby wireless systems can pick up this WLAN easily.
2. There was no encryption. Not even WEP. (security protocal to block foreign users of ur wifi)

I can almost conclude that someone had been piggy-backing/stealing on his bandwidth downloading Porns LOL. I rectified by telling him to enable WPA encryption. (Job done. Speed is now back to normal.)

For wireless users, please take note of the following:

Since most access points or routers have an administrator password, use it. This is the login when u try to access your router. Don't use the default. Change it to something else, anything but the default.
Do not broadcast your SSID.
Use WPA encryption if possible. Note that not all hardwares support WPA. If yours don't, use WEP. It's better than none.
Use MAC filtering and limit network access to only your systems.
This is not the best solution, but limiting your network's transmitting power DO help.
Disable remote administration. I'm not sure about cable, but if you are a Streamyx user, you can limit login to only a single user at any time.

This is what I know but please refer to your respective hardware manuals for more information.

Ops Saman Kahwin I Part 2

2007-05-14T13:42:00.000+08:00

You see what i mean?

What Is Left Of Me Part 3

2007-05-14T13:07:00.000+08:00

Finally I've gotten everything done! Thank God! By the way thanks for all the comments and words of advise that I got from friends, my multiply and online buddies. The best thing I've heard was "It's only a once in a lifetime thing further more you are doing it for the one you really love and care, so hang in there!" There are just too many "Hang In There" encouragement makes me want to hang myself. I am really supprised to how many people read my blog, just this week I got 44 new I.P addresses and in total 122 hits per week. I am really thankful.

It's officially less than 30 days to the point where I can say goodbye to independence, nah just joking. Thankfully, I've got a wife that cares for me alot.

Ops Saman Kahwin I

2007-05-14T12:32:00.000+08:00

I'll be passing out 'samans' today and for those who are blacklisted I'm coming for you! Please pick up my calls, reply my sms/msn and kindly let me know where and how I can pass you the saman. Please spare me the excuse that you are in Timbuktu. So far only one blacklisted said this to me when i called "Who are you?" (he seem to know the reason I was calling).

See you, Cheers!

Heroes Relay Part 2

2007-05-12T10:48:00.000+08:00

Oh Yes, last night I've managed to download Episode 20 & 21 of Heroes. I'm going to watch it later, jangan jealous ya! In another 2 days US tv will show Episode 22. I hope I'm ahead of everybody, since Astro is only showing the 1st Season of Heroes. Kiasu la abit. Let me do a little spoiler here, Peter Petrelli and Mohinder Suresh did not die when Sylar tried to break their skull and eat their brains. There you go.

What is Left of Me Part 2

2007-05-11T10:24:00.000+08:00

All this marriage thing is already taking a toll on me. I can't stand all this issues of what to do and what not to do and for a fact I'm paying for every single thing for this marriage. You can imagine as a person who comes out with all this money can't even say a damn thing about it. Yet, I'm instruct to do what is told even in my own house. All i know is that whatever that is on the guy side is up to us to decide and not to be decided by the ladies side. I'm spending thousands and thousands and I can't even voice a word on my side without being mad at. This pisses me off!! When I start to suggest something that is on my side of the family, I get bombarded by faces from hell. Nobody cares about what I want to say, so what is left of me now is just a shell. I really hope people will understand my predicament because I've been keeping quiet all this while, I just follow what people ask me to do and I've compromised. I belief I've lost my self in all this and I'm suffering from pre-marriage syndrome.

What Is Left Of Me

2007-05-09T23:27:00.000+08:00

Aahh! Today was my giving "dowry" day. I've made it here and I'm still alive after months of hectic wedding preparations. Sigh… and I'm really tired physically and mentally. Been running around spending money like no nobodies business! I'm already feeling the pinch in my bank account. I can't even have the opportunity to breath cause one commitment comes after another. I cant find an appropriate word to describe how I'm feeling now. All those years of $avings I never thought cashflow was a hurdle now, being tied down with insurance, credit cards, installments and now heavy expenses on wedding album, furniture, wedding dinner, dowry, etc etc etc.

So, although I'm still surviving, I foresee my cash flow will only improve in say another 6 months time after I recoup from gigantic loss (I mean Cost) from my wedding/dowry (I didn’t know dowry can be sooo expensive these days).

BUT FOR ALL THOSE THINGS I DID IS FOR THE SAKE OF HONORING & JUSTIFYING MY LOVE. FOR WHAT MATTERS TO ME MOST NOW IS "THE RETURN", MY WIFE. A LIFETIME COMPANION WHO SHARES THICK AND THIN WITH ME!

Self Consolation Product

2007-05-07T11:58:00.000+08:00

As we all know handphones are not only a communication device but they are considered as a fashion accessories. I've been browsing some sites and I "accidentally" stumble across a site that sells Dildos. But one particular dildo caught my attention. This very handy handphone dildo. Never thought this kinda products can be in the market? (yea right) Guess who came out with this invention? Yeap the Japanese, to them it's called "feminino handseto self-consolationo" In short dildo.

Its best feature is that you may slot your handset onto the product, when you adjust the handset to "vibration" mode and to some handphones choose your favorite song and it'll vibrate as well. Aaaaa.... what a convenient masturbation device.

AC Milan vs Man Utd

2007-05-03T09:34:00.000+08:00

RESULT

@#$%^&!!!!!!!!

Jusco Frenzy

2007-05-02T10:28:00.000+08:00

There are so many stuff in the list that I need to buy before that big day comes. So just last week my wife and I have decided to go scout for those things. As we were looking at those Akemi Comforters Set for my new bedroom furniture, it was to my disbelief each King Size set cost around RM500 - RM700. As I was about to pay the sales assistant asked me for the discount coupon and J-Card, I told her i don't have either one. Then she said "too bad, if not you will be only paying RM150-RM200 for the comforters". That was the best spoken word I've heard all day. We just found out that Jusco was having their quarterly J-Card Member Privilege Day and it was the last day. Therefore I quickly went to apply for the card though the line was long. I will be stupid if I don't apply for one to enjoy such discounts and I end up buying 2 sets. Other things I bought was toilet fittings, bedroom furnitures, new clothings. I have saved about 70% of the initial budget which I was quite happy with.

Also bought my wife's Kor Lai Jewelry at Tomei & Poh Kong, I was happy that she did not go for the heavier ones, as she have told me that she help me save, what a great wife!. End up only spending RM1600 for the 4 piece set of 916 gold jewelry.

There are still many many things I need to buy, sigh......... more updates.

AAArrrrgggghhhhh!!!!

2007-04-26T09:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the worst day of my life! For the past 4 months I've been buying 4 Ekor and I've been constantly buying my car number which is 1248. Usually 3Big 3Small on 3 sides (Kuda,Toto,Magnum). Could have won RM3,000 - RM5000. Just that yesterday I did not buy, how stupid of me. People say, recently married couples are very "Ong" and people around me started buying the numbers I buy. The only person that did not win yesterday was me. Bummer!

Jessica Lynch Tells The Truth

2007-04-25T10:02:00.000+08:00

If you have read and followed the events of Iraq War you'd probably came across this news about the heroic Jessica Lynch an American Soldier who said to have fought bravely in gun battle when her convoy was ambush and all of her 11 comrades died. She was the only one who survived the ambush and was captured by insurgents. They even made a movie on it and I watched it on HBO, where Elite US Soldier were dispatched which lead to her dramatic rescue from enemy hands. I must say it was a great movie based on a true story, but is it so? I was fooled! and the truth was finally out. What a Joke on Americans, like to drama drama only.

CNN NEWS
POSTED: 6:54 p.m. EDT, April 24, 2007

Lynch's testimony began with a recollection of the March 23, 2003, attack and her purported rescue nine days later.

As she and her fellow 11 soldiers drove through Nassiriya, Iraq, they noticed armed men standing in the streets and on rooftops. Three soldiers were quickly killed when a rocket-propelled grenade slammed into their vehicle, Lynch said.

The other eight died in the ensuing fighting or from injuries suffered during the fighting, she said. Lynch later woke up at Saddam Hussein General Hospital.

"When I awoke, I did not know where I was. I could not move. I could not call for help. I could not fight," she said, explaining she had a six-inch gash in her head and numerous broken bones. "The nurses at the hospital tried to soothe me, and they even tried unsuccessfully at one point to return me to Americans."

On April 1, U.S. troops came for her.

"A soldier came into the room. He tore the American flag from his uniform, and he handed it to me in my hand and he told me, 'We're American soldiers, and we're here to take you home.' And I looked at him and I said, 'Yes, I'm an American soldier, too,' " she recalled.

She was distraught to come home and find herself billed as a hero when two of her fellow soldiers had fought bravely until the firefight's end and another had died after picking up soldiers and removing them from harm's way.

"The American people are capable of determining their own ideals for heroes, and they don't need to be told elaborate lies," she said. "I had the good fortune to come home and to tell the truth. Many soldiers, like Pat Tillman, did not have that opportunity.

"The truth of war is not always easy. The truth is always more heroic than the hype," she said.

Lynch became a celebrity after U.S. troops filmed what they said was a daring raid on the hospital. Hospital staffers, however, said there were no Iraqi troops at the hospital when the purported rescue took place.

In the March 23, 2003, attack, Lynch, the Army claimed, was shot and stabbed during a fierce gun battle with Iraqi troops that left 11 of her comrades dead. It was later learned that Lynch never fired a shot during the firefight because her gun was jammed with sand.

Crazy Menus

2007-04-24T16:16:00.000+08:00

Egg Sand: Don't think I will order anything with sand in it. "Burn The Beef Sand", give me a break!!!
"Curry Rock Hind Rice" WTF is that? "The curry chicken picks the rice" I don't want no chicken picking on my rice.
"Fuck to fry the cow river" OMG the person preparing this dish have to fuck first, then fry the cow of river. "The Pig Picks the noodle soup" What? now i have to let a pig pick a noodle soup for me? "Frog Gruel" Now thats something. "Fuck to burn of" I usually do this with my wife when I feel I need to lose some calories.
I ain't gonna taste "Butter Many Privates" and they are even serving French dicks on "France many Privates"

40 mistakes men make while having sex with women

2007-04-24T15:59:00.000+08:00

Keep in Mind that I did not write this, I got it of from a website.

1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't.

6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8) GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of
buttons.

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first.

18) GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask

23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28) MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words"__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know

38) NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

Mid Life

2007-04-19T13:15:00.000+08:00

Never knew 30 candles can be quite a scary sight especially when they’re all lighted up. Hard to believe half of your life just passes by at a blink of an eye.

Ok ok I admit I'm no longer 18. They said life begins at 30? It this true, well I guess the only way to find out lies ahead. Anyway I had a wonderful birthday dinner at Zen Japanese Restaurant which my wife paid for. So? gasak la whatever that was on the menu. Right after that went to the nearest watering hole, Flams for a quick gulp of beer!

Growing old is a breeze. Growing up is exhausting.

53 Days in Counting......

2007-04-18T10:21:00.000+08:00

When I imagined planning my wedding I envisioned a year to plan and I knew exactly what I wanted. Now I am less than 2 months away from our confirmed date and I am starting to panic.

I think one of problems is when I take one of those How's your wedding plans? questions, I get more nervous. We have been searching for furnitures for the past week and just few days back we have finally decided on one bedroom set which cost me 5k. Bummer!

My bedroom toilet is beginning to look like a toilet after much renovation is done to changed the cum stained tiles and fittings that shoot water like pee, due to wear and tear. In my room, threw away all my old furniture's and repainted the wall to cover up those childhood grafities. Ummmm "1+1 = 11" and those you can find in public toilets "Call 016-609 0000 for big dick"

Got the invitation card done, now to blacklist the names which I'm going to collect saman from. Maybe I'll help them write their names on the envelope so that when they packed the saman in I would know who they are.

Camera & Video man set ... if you see them walking around in slippers T-shirt & torn jeans, that's them. I got them very cheap!

List of things I've yet to complete

1 Whole Mother load Pig - Slathered and Roasted
1 tonne truck of XOs & Swings and for those yuppies, Black Label
OMG...... I forgot about the jewelry set for my wife! Maybe I will attempt to forget it longer, :P
Chain Saw & Steel cutter, I'll bring along a locksmith.
Rob the bank but before that I wonder if they have loans for marriages. Maybe like 35 years payback with no collateral damages.

More marriage updates in a week time.

Happy Birthday

2007-04-18T09:17:00.000+08:00

Dear Blog,

IT'S My Birthday Today so Happy Happy Birthday!

It's officially, ...... go shorty it's my birday, everyone's gonna parte like it's my birday...... So here's wishing me (although I already did) a happy birthday! Finally "18", can start drinking, smoking, getting high, watching porno movies and be de-virginize!

Congrats!

View on Marriage

2007-04-13T13:36:00.000+08:00

Many people said all that is needed is marriage but some do not agree which many have advised me not to. This came after I proposed, hahaha, anyway what is done is done and I love my wife. Anyhow this is not what this post is about. This is about the community who is against marrying. I have a cousin that told me marriage is lame. I have close friends that told me weddings are a waste of time and money. And somewhat strangers said this to me, in view of the soaring divorce rate their personal advice is to adopt a pet! Last but not the least, I have heard advise that if you have just gotten married, don't have children. A Singaporean once told me the apple of your eye is a pain in my neck so make the world a quieter, cleaner place. (I swear I almost burst out laughing)

Ok, what do you think people? Are all this people is in their right mind and having negative thoughts about marriage?

The Encounters: About Me, Why?

2007-04-12T10:30:00.000+08:00

When I was an Café Flam last night I had a few encounter with some of my blog readers. There are things I didn’t knew about myself but was exposed by them.

DJ Chinois said I was placid and a little to the gentle side. He said Aries’ traits are supposed to be the impulsor and the aggressor. I wonder if he meant, “you are suppose to be Hainanese!” But to think aside, sometimes I can also be impatient and outspoken. I am eager and can seem pushy and my assertiveness can easily transform into an aggression. Maybe I did not reflect that on my blog, should I? (By the way thanks for all that "Edmund, Your Wife is waiting for you outside!" "Edmund, Where is your wife?!" announcements. Chin you could just bury me in sand last night)

Sharon_UEP (that’s her nick) said I could write personal stuff that expresses feelings. So I said that’s what blogs are for but I asked in what sense. She said about relationship with my wife and how I not afraid to write them. Why should I be afraid? Or ashamed? Duh! She also mentioned about the Gross stuff I wrote. So I asked isn’t it fun to read, she said “Yea” “Right”

Another dude asked me "Why does it always have to be about you?" whenever someone else expresses any wish for self-gratification. Here's a question: Why can't it always be about me? I get annoyed when people ask questions like that.

Consider this, an average human lives for 70+ years. The Earth has existed for 4,600,000,000 years (wikipedia.org). Now think about this, by a generous estimate, 100 people know an average person "first degree"(Friend/family) and 500 people know him "second degree" (Friend of a friend/Acquaintance). The world population is estimated at 6,380,342,166. (wikipedia.org)

Compared to the Earth's "lifetime", you are worth less than 9 billionth of a %. Taking 500 acquaintances, less than 800 millionth of a % of the world population will give half a flying fuck if you died. All these figures point to one fact: Nobody cares. You're worth nothing at all. Isn't anonymity a bitch?

So you see, there're only two sensible ways to live. Either get really famous or enjoy as much as you can. Let's face it, unless you killed 6.6 million people or helped 6.6 million people, you're very unlikely to be famous for long. Even people who are famous in their time seldom last beyond that. Anyone remember the 2nd Sultan of Selangor? I don't either.

That leaves one option, live for yourself. In case you're wondering, yes, I'm advocating greed and self-centred-ness. Since you don't count for much in the world, the stuff you do won't count for much too. So why not just do whatever benefits you the most?

The person who matters most in anyone's life should be himself. My car, my money, my happiness, my future. It has always been about me for every human being, dumbass. Simple as that. Quit whining about how society has become so cold or selfish or uncaring etc. I call bullshit on anyone who does, because society is just becoming more frank, NOT less caring.

A Quick Blog Summary

2007-04-11T14:58:00.000+08:00

I have been writing in my blog for the past 3 years, so I would like to recap what I have ranted all into this post.

At the age of 30 I must say I've seen enough assholes around. They are indeed popular, the more outrageous the better I guess? What else, oh ya in the past I have people telling me fate lead me to certain decisions, well... fate hates me. I also found out that hard work is not a requirement in studies! Have you ever heard about "There is no short cut in life". This saying is bullshit.

Other facts of Life I learned.
1) Only kill yourself on rainy days, cleaners have an easier time.
2) Animal abusers deserve to be gang-raped.
3) Being a pro at CS, WOW, DOTA or whatever doesn't earn you respect, making money from it does.
4) Its better to be honest and poor than dishonest and poor.
5) Morals are subjective, apply when useful.
6) Do not bitch for or against pre-marital sex, its really none of your business.
7) Nothing is a "right" in every single place on Earth. If you feel you should dictate your life cos only your morals and beliefs are right, that's your own opinion, so keep it to yourself.

Yes!

2007-04-09T10:18:00.000+08:00

I've finally brainwashed my wife into doing PC Games with me. Right now she is hooked to one particular game, which she 'thinks' she can manage. It's a dude game but I was impress she can handle "Titan Quest & Immortal Throne". Well one side effect is I don't get to use my computer as often as before and I have to drink health potion for her when there is a level Boss.

I'm level 22 Muahahaha......

Down and Out

2007-04-02T09:26:00.000+08:00

It's a real bitch to fall ill on the weekends even though I have to work. Just when you are all hype-up a day ago, you wake up in the morning with a spinning head and stomach discomfort. I'm like WTF? On Saturday? When there is so much to do? And I can't even spend my nerdy little day online since it makes the world spin more.

I managed to get my ass off bed and go to work, at about mid afternoon my brain was making 360 spins. It was unbearable. I was making frequent trips to the toilet shitting and vomiting all together. Cold sweat starting to form on my face and I turned pale. I suspected food poisoning. My wife drove me home and took good care of me.

For the whole weekend I lay sprawled on my bed like a dead rat, mouth foaming. There goes my beautiful weekend.

Rapist Search

2007-04-02T09:19:00.000+08:00

I FOUND HIM!!

You Want To Be Rich To Rule The World?

2007-03-30T09:41:00.000+08:00

Everyone wants to get rich. It's a goal that is simple to understand. There are tons of Banks & Books out there telling you how to achieve the mythical stage where you can shout to the world that you are "set for life". Of course, what you are really doing is to help these people get to that stage far faster than you. Hahaha.

But anway, now, I'm going to help you get rich. But there are some points you have to understand. There are basically two leagues of Rich people in the Malaysia, Fatty-Rich and Crazy Motherfucker-Rich. The Fatty-Rich still has to work, and earns enough to buy expensive meals, flashy cars, and big houses. The Crazy Motherfucker-Rich doesn't have to work ever again, and buys expensive restaurants, flashy planes and small islands. This is an extremely important distinction.

I will not give any advice on how to become Crazy Motherfucker-Rich in this post because I don't know either. The Malaysian consensus done recently is that you have to either be in business or the higher hierarchy of politics. The good news is that almost everyone can become Fatty rich. The better news is that Malaysia is an excellent place to do it.

(A bit of context is needed here.... My family is not rich, neither am I. We are smack in the middle of the income ladder. While no one will be buying a plane any time soon, none of us will end up on the 88th floor of KLCC looking down either. That's my target audience of this post, and hopefully it's a huge audience. If you are poverty poor, I can't help you. If you have a street on Daddy's island named after you, drop me a mail, I'd like to get to know you a whole lot better. =D (Look I even included a nice warm smile!)

Lastly, these are purely guidelines. Common sense material that you would probably have heard from your parents a dozen times. Unlike some of your parents, I will not tell you what course to take, what job to get, etc. Oh, and I'm assuming you are moderately smart at the very least. If you are stupid, go jump off a cliff or something. Ok, now that that's off my chest, let's move on.

Be realistic

People are addicted to investment manuals. It's like a fever of some sort. Sure, the premise is enticing. Get out of the rat race! Earn your first million by the age of 20! But here is a nice dose of reality for you: Forget it.

Last month I was at MPH having to come across a small pocket size booklet on Tzin Tzu Way of Getting Rich. I saw this clown who was trying very hard to memorise the booklet, obviously he couldn't afford it and he'll never going to become Tzin Tzu of tomorrow, much less the Bill Gates. So be discerning enough to differentiate between dreams and fluff. You are still stuck in a rat race, don't see private yachts in your future when there are not going to be any.

Stay in school

In my previous post I have complain about how paper-obsessed Malaysian Students and a few comments I received as saying its the status quo that will remain largely unchanged for a long time to come. Since we have established that you are going to die a rat, why not be one who can actually bring home a decent amount of cheese? So it seems that Malaysian students are put into mind that higher education = higher pay? Well I just looked at "Kelly's Salary Guide 2006" it's statistically proven. A better entry position means you are that much closer to the top of the food chain, "ceteris paribus". Do well once you have your foot in the door and other rats might be lining up to kiss your ass mighty soon. That's not too bad at all, eh?

Savings are your friend

Let's assume you have already gotten out of school and found a financially rewarding job. That is hardly the end of the story. It is extremely possible, and not too uncommon, for people to have a high income and still end up buried in a cardboard box. This is due to the fact that life is essentially unpredictable.

Lately, TheStar paper said that Malaysian will have their pay cheque wiped out by month end. Things are only getting worse. This is a generation which practically lives on credit cards. Spending their entire salary not only on things they don't need, but on stuff they might not even want. A minor crisis, that someone could easily and very well lead to a quick plunge down from KLCC for many nowadays.

Flexible morality and anal legality

"The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man." I quoted this because i have read it somewhere

Do not, however, confuse morality with legality. Malaysia is not some bleeding heart paradise where you can murder someone and get away with 20 years in jail. We do not play nice here. Furthermore, there are so many ways to lie, cheat and steal legally, it simply does not make sense to fuck around with our judiciary. Play smart, not hard. Because this counttry will always play harder.

Marriage is another option (you heard me right!)

I will be fair here, Marriage in itself is not a bad thing at all. People are increasingly seeking social, educational and financial compatibility in their relationships, so it is really unlikely that you will become worse off by tying the knot. With the pooling of equitable resources, it is even possible that a couple will be able to afford a lifestyle that neither of them can individually.

That being said, a cohabiting long term relationship is worth considering. You certainly won't lose much of the benefits you can get by marriage, and you will save on a lot of potential relationship headache stuff. An unmarried relationship involves tears and broken hearts where the couple takes it up the ass without lube and that is one mess you would do well to avoid.

Self-Esteem & Pressure

2007-03-29T14:14:00.000+08:00

I can't believe the obsession people have with the self-esteem and the pressure they put on kids nowadays. I read the papers for the past week after SPM results was out, kids having scored 11A1 and 1 A2 was so disappointed and upset. Words like "fail" and "lose" are getting phrased too often in the education system. Hence hurting fragile feelings. I remembered getting P7 for my Bashasaa Malayu in my SPM, this marks is not "miserable failure" at that time, it's called "under-performance".

Nowadays, people blame the kids for not performing, instead during my time was blaming everyone else I "underperformed". Just blame the teacher, maid, principal, education system, society, violent video game, MetroVision (bankrupt TV Station), drugs and of course, Metallica. (Enter Sandman)

How time change, Peace!

Eye On Malaysia

2007-03-26T12:21:00.000+08:00

Lately people have been buzzing about the Eye On Malaysia. Countless Blogs & Multiply have mentioned it and tonnes of photos snapped. My wife has been pestering me about bringing her there, so I have done a little research so that this weekend we can go there without any boo boo. Perhaps I'll join the bandwagon, posting pictures of our outings later.

Operating hours are 10am to 11pm Sunday to Thursday, 12 midnight Fridays, Saturdays and before public holidays. Tickets are available for RM15 Adult and RM8 Child.

Minipoll Updated

2007-03-22T12:07:00.000+08:00

I forgot to mention to you guys that I have updated my Mini Poll. Don't forget to vote ya!

Give Bloggers The Rights

2007-03-22T11:07:00.000+08:00

I have been blogging for 3 years in Blogspot now in fact during college days I have developed my own website ranting on my personal life. I can't help it but to express my disappointment on how many governments around the world is forbidding or trying to prevent the freedom of expression online. Is it not a privilege to write whatever they want to write on their personal space? I belief it’s a right that needs defending not just on bloggers but online forums and portals as well. Bloggers worldwide and even in our own country where they can face jail just for criticising the government. What rights do we have now, how can it be measured? Where is the liberal and democratic approach to such issues?

In our country I have read about the Internal Security Ministry issued warning to all local bloggers and media not to quote of publish "anti-government articles". The Ministry needs to know that the online community is bothered about free expression online and willing to stand up for it.

As quote by Lim Kit Siang (DAP) int he TheSun "Was the ministry really concerned whether the truth of falsehood are published in mainstream media, or is it only concerned about the growing, influence of blogs and Internet portals?" This is really true? What are we afraid of if we, our government is on the right track and right mind set? Like what our PM said last few weeks "If we have done nothing wrong, why should we be afraid?"

I do know in US and in UK they have policies that ensure human rights, particularly the rights to freedom of expression, association and the right to privacy are respected and protected. I guess it doesn't happen here.

If you look at the history of human kind. The Internet is a powerful force for human rights, enabling the free flow of ideas and information around the world. But some governments have sought to reduce this freedom. People have been locked up just for expressing their views in an email or a website. Sites and blogs have been shut down and firewalls built to prevent access to information. Companies have restricted Internet searches to stop people accessing information that repressive governments don’t want them to see.

I belief we have failed to respect, protect and promote the rights to freedom of expression, association and privacy, and the rights of human rights defenders.

If i have lost all my memories the next day you will know what happened to me, some ministry brain wash me. :P Last but not the least you should check this local blogger out. extremely popular blog that takes an independent approach to Malaysian politics and society. Its editor, Jeff Ooi, was threatened with imprisonment, at the beginning of October 2004.

Passport Expires!!!

2007-03-20T15:25:00.000+08:00

I need to renew my passport soon because I want to spent my Honeymoon. Currently, I am contemplating whether to snap photos in my current bloated form or wait till this balloony me deflates a little. I realised recently my pants are shrinking, no wait. Muahahha... what's this flabby flesh like flubber thing hanging off my torso? Oh it's my marriage present, meet uncle tummy. Wiggle wiggle wiggle..... hehehehe.

I've got so many question, should I cut my negro like hair?

How can I open my eyes bigger?

Should I show my teeth when I smile? (some dentist lost business for 15 years)

I want to make myself lean and mean again but futile.

What gotten into me?, Oh I'm such a dick.

Plasma TV

2007-03-19T12:17:00.000+08:00

If you are short of cash to get a plasma TV here's a good idea you can make your own Plasma utilizing your current TV. Here's how...

Nice?

Here's how you do it.

Heroes relay!

2007-03-19T09:40:00.000+08:00

I have finally finish downloading all chapters of Hereos 1-18 comes to about 6.0Gb of HD space! I've watch until episode 5 now and I can only tell you 2 words, MIND BLOWING! Heroes is the next best series I’m watching after Smallville. It’s about a group of ordinary people discovering their special abilities and using them to save the world.

Google Adsense

2007-03-16T16:04:00.000+08:00

To my loyal readers, thank you for helping me make my first USD1.00 from Google Adsense. I have used other pay per click Adsenses but it's nothing compare to Google Adsense. Perhaps of it's popularity and wealth, people do click on "Google". You can make a quick buck too by signing up for Google Adsense here.

"Google AdSense is a fast and easy way for website publishers of all sizes to display relevant Google ads on their website's content pages and earn money. Because the ads are related to what your visitors are looking for on your site — or matched to the characteristics and interests of the visitors your content attracts — you'll finally have a way to both monetize and enhance your content pages.

It's also a way for website publishers to provide Google web and site search to their visitors, and to earn money by displaying Google ads on the search results pages."

Review on Heroes Series

2007-03-15T11:52:00.000+08:00

I haven't got the chance to watch any of the Heroes series on HBO. The trailer for Heroes, has been getting play on the Web and the trailer looks good so I have decided to download it on Bittorent for the past few days. I have watch the first 3 parts of it and I'm beginning to get addicted and can't wait for the rest of the 19 episodes to complete. I really wasn’t expecting much at first. It’s international. The characters are well chosen and fit into all the usual stereotypes. They even play around with the idea of what a “hero” means, and the motivations behind that. There are some links between the people, common interests or people. Presumably as the show continues, we will discover more links that will draw them together. But right now it’s beautifully directed. Rich soundtracks makes the show sound even more interesting, and like something you definitely want to check out.

Ah Beng MTV

2007-03-13T09:56:00.000+08:00

One day I was sitting down having dinner while watching TV and my brother showed me a mandarin-hokkien song from YouTube.com and I can’t stop listening to it's sillyness. It’s entitled “Muar Mandarin” sang in hip-hop style. A warning to those tuning in from the office, the song contains explicit lyrics. Totally stupid song but cool music video production.

This guy is a threat to the Klang & Penang Ah Beng's reputation because he is the greater Chow Ah Beng now and he’s from Muar! Kan nin nehh..

That Journey in Life

2007-03-06T09:43:00.000+08:00

Fellow readers, I apologise for not updating my blog as frequently as before. I have been busy with life and life, to me, is all about falling, picking up, falling again, picking up again.. There are something, you wish you can own or you know you cant.. Something, the more you fight, the more the thing will drift further from you.. if you don't fight, you will regret.. I told myself before that, even if I cant get it, at least I already put in effort.. So I will continue to buy 4-Ekor for as long as I live. ;-)

On a serious note, nowadays, seems like I have wake up from a fairytale land where I used to live in.. Being pampered, showered with lots of care and love.. Even when I was down, I recovered very fast.. It seems like I am currently see the real world, a little wear out from all the sad and worry matters in the past.. But now I have more energy to charge forward, to achieve the things I want, I look forward to have..

I believe this is the period of time that I really need to set my priority right and choose the most suitable path.. I hate waiting and I push to get the answer ASAP.

Year of Pigs!

2007-02-27T09:45:00.000+08:00

Just for Laugh!
Sounds "logical" deduction of pigs..

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
hence,
Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
if,
Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
in other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
hence,
Men = Pigs + earn money
if,
Men - earn money = Pigs
in other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep>
Hence,
Women = Pigs + spend
if,
Women - spend = Pigs
in other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs
Summary:
Men earn money not to let women spend become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!
Men + Women = 2 Pigs

Wish all the pigs happy forever.

I'm Back!!

2007-02-27T09:41:00.000+08:00

I was back last Friday! It was a great holiday, although I feel like I need another one now to recover from it. I’ll start bloging once I am fully awake!

Koh Samui Here We Come!

2007-02-13T13:37:00.000+08:00

Sawadikap......Finally a long break that I have been waiting for to spent it with my wife. I'm pretty hype-up about this trip. We are going to Koh Samui on the 1st Day of Chinese New Year which is on the 18th February 2007. I have not been there but I have read some good reviews. If any of you have been there please let me know how's it's like? So far I've only seen pictures of sand, beaches and naked girls. Will be back 23rd February. Till then Kongsi Kongsi, and to those who MSN for ang pao please read my blog on Jumping Into 4 Ekor

To Use Protection is Good, BUT........

2007-02-07T14:38:00.000+08:00

I never had to use one before and I had dreaded the very day when i would be forced to. Sure, I know I should always try to protect myself but it just feels so much better to go without it, you know? I don’t need that extra… barrier. I just want to get things done and I will feel nice. I don’t want to have to reach for something else. You know what i mean?

Besides, it’s not as though i haven’t heard several complaints about it lately, as much as the media is encouraging the use of it. They keep saying it would be so much better and safer if everybody used one. So i knew it’s inevitable that some day, i would have to use it. My only wish was that the days before then would be prolonged for as much as possible.

I knew that those days had come to an end. When I had to use the RHB DotCom Card the latest security feature implemented by RHB Banks that puts the inconvenience into the formerly convenient internet banking. this, ladies and gentlemen, is the RHB DotCOm security card.

Facts About V - Day!

2007-02-06T11:17:00.000+08:00

Ok as we burn rubber through yet again another year, Valentine's Day is fast approaching. I never thought I will write another post on Valentine's but this time it's different as I will be celebrating with my lovely wife. I found recently on the net that Valentine's Day is NOT an occasion of equality between the sexes, based on spending habits and perceptions around the world.

Let me explain and I speak for myself, we men said they plan to spend an average of RM500 for their partner, while the average for women is RM100. More than a third of women, about 39 percent, said they didn't plan to spend anything this Feb. 14 for their significant other. Most men, 71 percent, said they plan a night out at town, while 66 percent men predicted they'll go with flowers on Valentine's Day. The DNMS (dinner-dance-movie-sex) date night was also cited by both men and women, 62 percent, as their preferred gift. Well, just a food for thought on equality. Now I'm not saying it's gender bias but men are genetically generous, modest and gentlemen like creatures, don't you agree? Ahem.

Dirty Jokes

2007-02-03T23:32:00.001+08:00

Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
Mom asked "How do you know?"
Girl replied "Last night when we made love, his cock was still inplastic cover."
Bangladesh Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."
2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You gotnice house."
After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.
Man asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Thai Girl replied: "No lah, just admiring your cock. I used to have onebefore."
Women's lives are hard. Morning wash clothes. Noon hang clothes.Evening keep clothes. Nite iron clothes.Midnight take off clothes. After midnight find clothes.
To make it straight she pulls it. To make it stand she rubs it.To make it stiff she licks it. To let it in she pushes it. True?Threading a needle is not easy.
Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:"Anyone got a cock?"
All men rose."I meant anyone seen a cock?"
All women rose."I mean anyone seen my cock?"
All nuns rose.
A Sad story. A woman's husband died & she had him cremated.She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said" Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl you will get one."
Girl: "But mom what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many!"
A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:"
If I give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties."
Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
Two sperms talking on mobile.
1st: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you closeby?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing thetonsils."
Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a PENIS. This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought.

Random Thoughts

2007-02-02T10:51:00.000+08:00

It's thinking time for me. I was going to post up this long thing that I was thinking about whether what I need in my life now. But it got longer and longer and the more I wrote, the more I had to write, so I haven't completed it yet. But maybe I'll just give you some food for thought first. I was thinking what I would think about regarding the needs and wants in my life now at the age of 30. The main things afflicting a person of my age group are usually one or all of the below by Ranking:

Appearance - Small moon orbiting around my waist as though a round planet.
$Money$ - Buying lottery makes me mad, always missing one number.
Health - Can't get out of my car, steering wheel got wedged on my belly.
Friendship - Recruiting Now, need by June, help in breaking down gate and door to get wife.
......

Bad Addiction

2007-02-02T10:38:00.000+08:00

Hello People, my name is EDMaestro. I am a Computer Game Addict (like forever). Whenever I start a game, I'm really into it, like I'm one with the Matrix. So whenever I'm plugged in, any talking, calling and shouting I won't hear it. I won't realize it until there is frustrasted heavy walking, angry door slamming and other irritated loud noises coming from my wife.

Night At The Museum

2007-02-02T10:06:00.000+08:00

I had a weird dream last night that I was working in Museum Negara being chased around by Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat. It's true! but anyway "The Night At The Museum" movie was quite funny, reminded me alot of Jumanji. (the jungle board game that came alive remember?). I would have probably laughed harder if my wife's laughter can be softer than mine. HAHAHAHA, there we go. It was a good change from the usual love or action or horror movies. Go check it out.

What's in The News Lately?

2007-01-26T16:38:00.000+08:00

I read the papers today and there was this news which made me go, what?!

Thailand has pass a law stating that a Husband can rape his wife And wife can rape the husband. The reason for this law is to respect the equality of gender in Thailand. Don't laugh it's true, go read today's paper. I guess there are just too many cases in the pass whereby the wife raped the husband but did not consider as an offence. But if a husband rape the wife, he is in big trouble. So the Thais approved the law that it's ok that you rape your wife who isn't giving you sex.

So how do you define marital rape in Malaysia? Let me tell you. If my wife want to rape me I must first shout No! No! No!, after that if she still don't want to stop her advance towards me I have to struggle a little to show that I don't want to be rape. Now after all that struggling I'm sure my cloth will be torn. I can report to police and tell them my wife rape me. Put in the report you shouted "No! No! No!", that you "struggled" and of cause "penetration". Oh don't forget, if you are the manly type, try to sniff sniff a bit in the police station, drama a bit. So this report can be brought to the court of law so that my wife can go to jail with all the key words stated.

I hope you learned something today. So protect yourself.

Jumping into 4 Ekor

2007-01-24T15:47:00.000+08:00

Since everyone has been asking ang pow this year from me I want to let you know what is a good number to buy for Magnum, 3D and Toto today (Wednesday), Saturday, Sunday right up to Chinese New Year? Sinseh EdMaestro would like to give a little reward, a small token of appreciation, a small "ang pow" to everyone here reading this post. Since you have been my loyal readers for sometime now, Sinseh EdMaestro will give you all some reward for wasting time and bandwidth in my blog. I stress again reeeeemember to buy this number and you will sure to strike and hit the jackpot within the days mentioned. The lucky number is 0404. Why this number? Because on Feb 18th, 2007 when you meet people they will say "Kong Si Kong Si" to you. Kong Si Kong Si in hokkien means zero four zero four. So there you have it. 0404 is the significant number! Don't say I didn't tell you.

As for me I bought 5186 & 8421 today because 0404 is just for you. Good Luck

I Officially Declare...

2007-01-22T23:41:00.000+08:00

I lost the fight against my tummy. IT WON and it is growing at a rapid speed. I've ignored countless advise to exercise. Now I suffer the consequences of being pregnant with fats around my waste. Damn you, good food! It is really too soon for me to morph into unclehood, i have yet to walk down the isle, and yet to shout yum sing and yet to have babies.

Oh talking about yum sing, today did the official list of friends i will invite to my dinner and I have to apologise for those i did not invite. It really doesn't mean anything, we can always come out for dinner and sort things out. Also nominated a few as my heng tai to break down the gate and door for my be love wife.

Now that I am done with the photo shoot $damages$, I was informed that I will be needing additional $$ by May since is the dowry & new furnitures month. So i have been saving this couple of days, hard but trying. In the end of the day, when I look back I will definitely feel impress to know that I have struggled and beaten the odds to wed somebody I really love. Broke but not dead, never mind it's part of life. I'll start again.

This is the Moment

2007-01-19T12:14:00.000+08:00

Finally, our wedding photo shoot day! We had prepared well for the whole week in terms of using more money (sigh) for shoes, socks, shirts, beautician and a lot of other pamperingness. My wife puts on her Sussie Swiss whitening package (to me it's $$) every night and I actively popping Omega 3 capsules ($$). We are not nervous but worried that those pictures won't come out good since I have paid so much and getting prepared for it! Also worried that this people will put too much make up on me. Worry that smile will look fake, worry that my crater face will not look good blah blah. Ahem, don't laugh, I got my eye brow shaved and make up put on but I did beg for her not to powder too much as it would make me look artificial. And umm rejected the lipstick.

OK yesterday was a completely worn out day. I do not want to spent my whole day ranting about how it went but here's some photo's i secretly took which can explain partially how my day went. We were there from 9:45am to 6:30pm with non stop activities. I remembered we were changing a lot of clothing's in a day. Our outdoor shoot was in Putrajaya and guess what? It rained. The Photographer has assured us with the rain it's even better because we are able to do a lot of natural shots like playing with water, running in the rain which he said many couples don't get to do and it's different. It's convincing but it better look good on photo. We did a lot of candid shots which we really wanted like carrying my 'feather-like-weight' wife around, throwing her in the air, dip her legs into the lake...... (evil grin). I also had to take off everything from suit, tie, shoes, socks and vest since we wants it natural so photographer said take it all off, so I was like running around like a fish monger smiling and jumping all the way. Oh i remember climbing out of the building for a shot as well.

Our photographer was extremely funny! So we didn't have problems smiling and laughing whole day. Let me recall why he is funny. Firstly he introduced himself like how JamesBond would as "Wing, Chicken Wing". Secondly named us "Tai Lo" (brother) & "Ah Lang" (pretty). Thirdly, when he gets a good shot he does the Fist-Elbow move as if you scored a goal. Finally, if he wants us to laugh he'll do the HAHAHOHO noise. I can imagine now to become a supermodel is not easy, very demanding job. HAHAHOHO.

They did everything professionally and I'm very satisfied with that. All in all it was a great once in a lifetime experience.

Top 5 Signs She Is Not Interested

2007-01-16T14:46:00.000+08:00

These are five foolproof ways that you might wanna know if a girl may be using to tell you to back off and leave her alone.

She avoids your gaze and hardly makes eye contact. she’s happier looking down and around, at her food, at the surroundings, in fact anywhere else but your face.
She does not appear to be interested in the things you say. she lets you do all the talking. her replies are simply “yes”, “no”, "really?" more frequently, “uh-huh” or "whatever"
She ignores your calls and messages, sometimes ring ring ring then cut off. Worst can't even get through (you got the fake number trap)
She makes sure you are aware that she is seeing other guys. Like "oh, my bf is standing over there...." while pointing to a direction full of man.
and the number one sign…
She tells you straight to your face that she’s not interested in you, and backs it up with facts and reasons, letting you know exactly where you fall short. (Some may even make sign language of the letter "L" on her forehead)

Okay i’m aware that i’m probably need to tell some of you guys frankly because i see some of you don't know how to write a 'shame' word. The only thing that’s more dissapointed is to see my fellow male kind that wouldn’t stop going after a girl who’s clearly not interested. Read the signs above. What a pity.

Life Is Beautiful

2007-01-16T00:04:00.000+08:00

It's 12:30am thought of closing off my day with a quick rant of what I've been up to this past days. Well Weekend partying is like ummm crazy. A friend of mine returned to Malaysia after months of "kakoonkup" at Thailand. Ever since he got back he has been repeating to us about how beautiful those she-males are there. I'm beginning to suspect that months at Thailand has made him Aquaish as well.

On Saturday sent my wife for some pampering, spent on Mani-Pedicure.

Did a little shopping with my wife this afternoon. She needs a white shoe to go with the wedding gowns and I had to get a white shirt preferably very the formal. It's all for our upcoming photo shoot this Thursday. So I got a G2000 shirt, pricey but nice and my wife finally got her shoes after weeks of searching for a right pair. Though she is still not satisfied with that Vincci shoe, to me it pretty whatever she puts on.

Trust me, at this moment I look like an overgrown melon now, been overly indulging myself in the food I crave, drinks I love, smoke I yearn. There goes my discipline, I never will learn, will I? Ahh Life is indeed beautiful!

Thank You!!!

2007-01-12T01:50:00.000+08:00

It's my 3rd year at blogging with 7000 hits so far. Thank You All!!

Blood Test Result Out!

2007-01-11T22:26:00.000+08:00

If you read my earlier post I written on my bloodtest. I'm officially a Thalassemia carrier, it means I have the gene. Well, it's definitely in my entire family genome and it's going to stick with us for the whole entire generation to come. Well, what the hell just as long as my wife doesn't have it, which she doesn't so our children won't be Thalassemic. That's a great relief and a good to know. Anyway here's some of the problems i need to look into.

My cholesterol level is horrible, has been for the years and it has put me in full blown PANIC mode! It's not pretty having bunch of cholesterol swimming around inside my body. I know, I know, panicking isn't going to help bring my cholesterol down, but there are times where I can't help it. The problem I'm having is actually eating my favorite food, food I really like, I can't do it if you ask me not to eat them. I survive on tasty food! I've been eating pretty much the same as usual and I feel ok for now. They recommended me Omega 3 if I decide that I don't (won't) exercise much.

My Liver watch out! I'm not happy with how I've been managing my nicotine and liquour intake lately. Although, I have the best intentions of staying in control, things have kind of slipped up recently and more often than not. I'm happy now which, if you know me, is something that I like. Personally, happy makes me feel out of control. I know that it's my own fault... at least mostly my fault *grin*. So I'm trying to take responsibility for things. I haven't been taking as good of care of myself lately and I don't think I have any excuse for it.

My Protein level is a little high in my urine. I really haven't heard anything like this before. Protein in urine?? Hmm... i don't remember masturbating the night before the test?? Umm... wait!

So after hearing all that consultation messages I spent the entire evening pondering about what I can do, the long list of things that I might never be able to eat, drink, smoke, masturbate again.

Hard Boiled Eggs On Fire!

2007-01-09T13:07:00.000+08:00

I'm pretty sure everyone knows how to boil eggs. Before you put the eggs in, covered them with water then put them on the stove to bring them to a boil after 10 minutes or so it's ready. So how can anyone boil eggs which almost cause the house on fire and smoke?

My dear beloved brother who came back high from drinking last night decided to boil some eggs to eat but due to his exhaustion and alcohol prone brain he decided to take a short nap while waiting for his eggs to cook. So, 5 minutes went by, then 10 minutes passed by, then 30 minutes, then 1 hour, then God knows how long the stove was left burning the poor frying pan while he was still in dreamland.

From what I heard the eggs which turned into atom bombs exploded into smithereens and not a single drop of water was left in the pan. So exploding eggs plus hot dry frying pan causes??

That's right smoke!! Lots of smoke, if you know what Haze is that was what happened to our house, dead wrenching smell of rotten eggs aroma filled the entire house. I'm sure those people inside the house would be choking and desperate for air by then. Well he got up in the nick of time before the house was on fire.