I Rove Jabanese!

I figured I needed to blog more about stuff going on with me. Yeah, so I met a Japanese friend Akeshi and he's from Nagoya, Japan. He was here for holidays and friends started bringing him around town. Yesterday was his last nite here and I had the honour to entertain him. Oh ladies before i forget, he's cute. BUT he has serious problems with his armpit bushy "FattChoy". It needs major trimming!

It was fun stuff last nite, we were at steamboat at Tmn Ulek he said "Malaysiao iso niceo place-o" but i told him he hasn't seen the fun stuff yet. So I managed to convinced him to follow me last night accompanied by his tourguide Mr. Juan a Nice fella.

I took him to a local club and I heard over dinner that he "was" a good drinker. So yeah Akeshi was cool for like about an hour or so. I learned some stuff about Japanese just by talking with him.

For a start he doesn't smoke but does Cigarz, so i got him a pretty good one. He shook my hand with delight & gave me a hug and said you are "you goodo guy-o and I'm happy-do." I swear he said that. He was sucking at it all by himself and it took him 15mins to finish that monster cigar what suprises me was he turn to me and said "I need another one, how much?"

Secondly, I also watched him dance when he was about there, high. How do i describe it? Umm more like Drunken Kung Foo dance.

What else? Oh he likes going to the toilet every 15 minutes. I guess he doesn't have big Pundi like us Malaysians.

I got the DJ to say "A big shout out to Akeshi all the way from Japan, welcome down." He was shocked to hear that and he told me he's famous.

Last but not the least he beliefs everything you say. For instance, i said there will be strip dance later. His eyes went wide open and mouth gaping. But in the end I had to tell him the truth, that he needs to pay for that.

Overall the nite was fun, he got to know a couple of my friends. There were a few girls which i introduced him to and you know what really amazes me? I've seen them around here and there but i didn't know that they could 'speakido japanesedo'. I guess they have worked in Sushi King before. Well at least they are trying to entertain Akeshi with their dances. I overheard some of them introduce different name, like Ayumi for instance or something Ichiban?

So yah, that was a good nite. He gave me a hug and later on got a sms thanking me for the nite. He went home happy and I went home dead tired cause that nite i went to the gym. I'm 74kg now been eating and eating everywhere i go, side effect. Need to lose this weight of mine.

Cool T-Shirt

I should get this Tee or make one myself. Thanks for the contribution.

Good Lovely Days & Bad Fucking Days

Somedays are good days and somedays are bad. Somedays are days you're not sure what they will be.

One of those bad days. A day in the middle of morning (around 8:30am to 9:30) and swinging between awakeness and sleepiness. This morning I woke up to the sounds of loud Vrooom!! and Vrooom!!. Fucking assholes neighbour with his Nissan Skyline, warming up his car by raving his pedals. It was behind my house and woke me up out of a dead sleep and an erotic dream. I think he should pick weekdays to drive his monther's Kanchil instead and wait till the weekends to Vrooom all he wants. I need my sleep cause I'm not as fit as before, aging problem. The Vrooom sound still in my head, be more considerate you 'Initial D' fucks!

Oh yeah, now the good part of my day. Basically it stems from last night. I went out last night as I have been for the past few weeks. Last nite went over to Kajang for Satay but it was fucking raining all night long so skipped that. I ate and ate last night, wait let me recall. A mix grill platter with Chicken, Lamb & Beef steak, Wantan Soup, fish cakes and last but not least had a dozen of roast chicken wings. Enjoyment and pleasure till my stomach can't take no more! Well maybe it's not a good idea to skip Fitness First yesterday cause i really felt bloated this morning, to make matters worst i ate nasi lemak this morning. Morning business in my office toilet was worst than Hiroshima Bomb. I told my staff not to go into the toilet if they care dearly for their lifes. I'll have to go Kajang again soon, and this time I will have to do something about my eating disorder, so what do they call people who can't stop eating? Gluttophobic? Yes, I'm fucking trying to regain my own personal life. Funny how that is!!

Jokes after Jokes

A Prayer for Ladies

Holy mother full of grace,
Bless my boyfriends gorgeous face,
Bless his hair that tends to curl,
Keep him away from other girls,
Bless his arms that are so strong,
Put his hands where they belong,
Bless his dick the one I sucked,
Bless the bed in which we fucked,
And if my mom happend to walk in,
Bless the shit that I'll be in.

(P/S: I thought my poem was good but this is even better)


Candy Machine

A guy is taking a shower when he suddenly has the urge for some candy bars. He grabs some money and runs to the corner store stark naked. He grabs two candy bars, throws the money at the surprised clerk and runs back to his home. But before he can get there, he sees three nuns walking toward him. He braces his back against a brick wall with a candy bar in each hand.One of the nuns says, "Look, sisters, a candy machine!". She grabs the guy's chin, opens his mouth, inserts a quarter, closes his mouth, and pulls his dick. The guy drops one of the candy bars and she picks it up. The next nun goes through the same procedure, and when she pulls his dick, he drops the other candy bar and she picks it up.The third nun grabs his chin, opens his mouth, inserts a quarter, closes his mouth, and pulls his dick, but she doesn't get her candy. Frustrated, she pulls and pulls. Finally, she says, as she rubs her hands, "Look, sisters, Johnson's Hand Lotion!"

Christmas Party Went Wrong

John woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned,

"tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn.

"You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors, and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an idiot," John said.

"Piss on him."

"You did," his wife said,

"and he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

His wife replied, "I did. You're back at work on Monday."

So Much To Do & So Little Time!

I'm super fucking busy today... I've got a million things to do and not much time to do it in! So I apologize for no having any updates this few days. Don't curse me, cause I've been sneezing whole day in the office.

Curse me not cause this is your mum at a computer store!

Save The Pandas

I'm into Pandas now. How could such a cute animal face extinction threats? There is a desperate international request to save the giant panda, perhaps the most visible symbol of the world's endangered animals. Can you belief that there's only 1,500 in the wild and you can only find them in China. I read that they will be gone in 15 to 20 years time if no concervation is done. Disappear from the face of our planet. Poof! Gone! Bummer!

I have some friends as well that look like panda, but their survival rate is high. Either not enough sleep or part time "tai kor" gangster with blacks shades.

Poeming Again...

A Little Fish

A friend who calls,

Reading this months Cleo,

She recalls,
I've fallen into a category,

I've never realized before,

I've just been called,

An Eligible batchelor,

Which suggests to my mind,

Which sounded,

That demand could be high,

But I reckon,

I'm just a small little fish,

Living in the biggest ocean.

by Ed

Sex Education: The "Pinch" Method 101

Overcoming Premature Ejaculation and I call it the pinch method. It's is similar, but instead of just stopping stroking or stopping thrusting, you actually pinch the head of the penis to delay orgasm and reduce arousal. Don’t worry, it’s not as painful as it sounds, the “pinch” is actually more of a “squeeze.” With your thumb and forefinger you or your partner can apply firm pressure to the top and underside of penis head, just above the ridge on the top side, and just below the ridge on the underside. This puts the brakes on the ejaculation reflex, like holding back a sneeze by pressing under your nose. As with the stop-start method, practice the applying the pinch when masturbating, then with a partner jerking you off or blowing you, then try using it during sex. It’s less convenient than the stop-start method because you have to actually withdraw to do the squeeze. The trick is to get the squeeze on in time to actually halt orgasm. A firm squeeze at the base of the penis may also do the trick.

The purpose of both of these techniques is for you to become more aware of the feelings in your body while you’re having sex. Most guys can identify that “no turning back” point when they know they’re going to ejaculate and there’s no way to stop it. By getting more familiar with what it feels like before you get to that point of no return, you’ll be able to slow down what you’re doing and prolong your enjoyment of sex.

Jokes Again

Morris an 80 year old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. "I've never been better," he replies. "I've got a twenty two year old bride who's pregnant with my child! . . .What do you think about that?" The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some bush in front of him. He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle... *BAM* The beaver drops dead in front of him." "That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief, "Someone else must have shot that beaver." "EXACTLY!"

No One Can Help You But Yourself

I've read and heard alot of such cases and here I would like to stress a little more. Well at least it could be helpful to many who will read it. We cannot avoid as well as ignore where most people had relationships in their past that didn’t work. Most people have at least one such relationship that is very hard to let go of. Or this is the one that got away, but shouldn’t have. Or this is the one that felt as if it was meant to be. Or this is the one that felt like true love yet just would not work. How do you let go of a relationship like this??? Now here's something i found, it makes hell lot of sense and I think you should read it.

Posted by Rinatta Paries on November 12, 2005.

It is not easy to move on to another relationship after such an experience. It is not easy to attract love, or give your heart to someone new. It is hard to believe you will have such love and passion with anyone else. At the same time, it is hard to trust that you will somehow avoid hurt the next time around.

Another thing that keeps you hooked into that relationship is anger. Anger arises when someone has something you want but won’t give it to you, especially when the giving of the thing would seem to be the natural or the expected thing to do. You are justified in being angry, yet anger is a way to stay connected to someone, although not a positive way.

There is another reason why it’s hard to let go of the relationship that got away. The person you were in love with truly had great qualities. With him or her you had an incredible connection. Maybe he or she loved you intensely. He or she may still love you. The only problem in the relationship was that he or she could only treat you well part of the time. The rest of the time, he or she acted hurtfully towards you.

It is very difficult to throw away this type of connection. And it is more difficult still when you interact with the wonderful, caring side of him or her. Having to walk away from such a relationship can be the hardest thing you will ever do. Even when you walk away it may still pull at your heart.

It is so much easier to let go of someone when it is clear he or she doesn’t care about you. It may even be easier to let go of someone who dies, because there is nothing that can be done. But to let go of someone who is well and alive and loves you is an incredible task. Yet let go you must if the partner you are clinging to is not willing to meet your needs. If you are ever to be fulfilled in any relationship, you must let go completely of this past partner.

So how do you do this? How do you let go of the living, breathing former partner who may love you, or whom you may love, and/or who is not good for you? How do you let go of the one who seems to have been the one?

The first step is to understand that your partner would have given you the moon and the stars if he or she could have. Even when he or she appeared to be holding back or hurting you on purpose, he or she was always doing the best he or she could. Understand that he or she never intentionally hurt you.

To let go of your past relationship, you will first need to forgive your ex, forgive yourself, and understand that his or her behavior was not your fault. Understand that all that he or she did, the good and the bad all together, comprise the totality of this person. Sometimes he or she was wonderful and sometimes he or she was horrible. And all of the time he or she was the person you cared for.

There is no way you could only have his or her good side. Because you were connected to the whole person, you had to experience the bad side as well. His or her bad side was hurtful, and in the end the bad outweighed the good. Since the bad side was a part of the package and could not be changed, the whole package had to go.

Secondly, do something to honor and cherish the true connection between the two of you. In fact, you may need to honor that connection for a long time. There was a wonderful part of him or her, a loving and nurturing part. There was love for you; there may still be love for you. You may always love that part of your ex.

How do you honor the connection to your ex? Honor your love and connection in prayer, in your heart, in your thoughts, and in your actions. Use the gift of the connection as an inspiration to find more of that kind of love in your future partners.

When you are ready, send thoughts of peace, healing, and joy to your ex whenever thoughts of your past relationship cross your mind. Whenever you miss him or her, send him or her your love. In this way you can still love him or her, while keeping your distance and protecting yourself from his or her hurtful behavior.

You may be hesitant to do this. You may be afraid that it will make you go back into the relationship with your ex. But understand I am not saying your ex-partner will change and become more of what you wanted. Most likely, your ex will remain exactly as he or she is, at least as far as you are concerned.

The reason to honor your connection is not to somehow bring your ex-partner back. Instead, by honoring the good of the relationship, you become free of the anger you feel towards him or her. By honoring the gifts he or she gave you, instead of focusing on what he or she did not give you, you will begin to feel peace and gratitude.

Remembering that your ex came as a complete package, combining the very good with the intolerably bad, will give you the strength to not go back into that relationship. And freeing yourself of anger at your ex will give you the ability to move on and deeply love another person.

Dirty Jokes to brighten up your day.

Kinds of Penises

A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?" The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dried up and the balls are there for decoration only."

Moral of the Story

There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished, looking for any food they could find, but to no avail. Later on, the rooster finds himself focusing upon a worm, inching its way nearby. The rooster then proceeds to chase and then pounce on the worm, eating it quickly. Resting after his meal, he rubs his belly in pure satisfaction. The cat looks at the rooster and thinks to himself, "Well, if he can do it, I can do it." Not long after the rooster eats his worm, the cat spots a mouse scurrying nearby the lake. The cat raises its tail, arches its back, and with all its might, attempts to pounce on the mouse, only to end up in the lake. What is the moral of the story? Where there is a satisfied cock, there is a wet pussy...

Penis Torture

Three men were walking aimlessly in the desert. They came upon a castle. Dying of thirst, they decided to go into the castle. Inside they found no men, just dozens of beautiful women. The three men decided to stay (obviously, what man wouldn't). For a week they enjoyed themselves having sex many times a day with all of the beautiful women. After a week, the king of the castle and his army of men came back. As he walked into his castle, he found the three men with his women. Upset, the king ordered his army to capture the three men and line them up against the wall. Then the king said that each of them would be severely punished according to their occupation. The king goes up the first man and demands to know his occupation. The first man replies, "Fireman." The king tells his army, "Burn off his penis." Then he walked over to the second man and asked his occupation. Hesitating the man said, "I...I...I...I'm a police officer." The king ordered, "Shoot off his penis." Then finally the King asks the third man his occupation. With a huge smile on his face the man replied, "Lollipop salesman."

Words of Self Motivation!

How are doing today? Can I tell you something? You dont know me very well but i know you enough to say that you are worth it. Whatever it is , you, worthit. As a matter of fact no matter what anyone has ever told you through word or deed you are worthy of every dream you have ever dreamed. That may sound corny but it is worth it for the little bit it warmed you. I used the words worthit so much it sounds like 'vormit' in my head. :P

Good Things in Life

Constantly I search outside for good things. Sometimes I put in a lot of searches and get bad things. Sure, we need to know where work needs to be done. This sligt difficulty proves my point. Just because you can't find good things does not mean it isn't out there. You know the good is every where because you can see it all around you if you really look for it. It is quiet and it whispers but trust me it is every where.

Choices...

One of my main points is that there is always a choice in life. For me I can look at any situation and choose which perspective I want. For every trainwreck or any bad outcomes I have encountered there is always one or more positive thinking or image right next to it. We all know what we have experienced and "trained" to believe they are not there and choose to ignore it. If we look closer than we have been shown and think deeper than we have been taught our Choice will expand.

Behind the Smile :-[

This is a smile i drew myself. I always wanted to know what is behind this smile? Behind this smile :-[ is a person you'll never know, who has emotions that chooses not to show. Also behind the eyes are stories left untold. A dream that hasn't been accomplished and layers of skin like onions that have yet to peal off. Behind the face people don't know what to think and nobody will feel it's pain. And what causes this person to sink. Behind this smile is a world filled with uncertainty and sometimes the truth isn't enough but somehow it gets by. Behind the wisdom is someone you haven't met and could be your worst nightmare! You'll be afraid but will curious. What comes out from this smile are words that you can't explain. This person isn't normal nor plain but behind the shadow is a world left unknown. A past yet unspoken and that this person prefers not to show. How mysterious?

Oh Man....

As soon as i got up this morning, i felt really good! Mr. Stiffy acting up and does what it does best. Ya know, people talking about full breast and all, well I have a full crotch this morning and that's sexy! Maybe i'll have Cucumber salad with 2 eggs and mayonaise spread all over for lunch today. Health food.

Blog Milestone: 200th Posting

This posting marks my 200th blog posting since this blog was started about 1 plus year ago... there have been some days that this blog has seen a lot of traffic and comments and some days one week where I have had little to write about because of my complicated life. Thanks for taking time out of your busy days to read my blogs. I continued to write crap like this is because of you crazy people! Without you lazy people I wouldn't have done it. Thank You!!

To celebrate this memorable day, I'm going out to partae tonite.

Sincerely,
EdMaestro

The "L" word

Love? It's kind of complicated, but I'll tell you this... the second you're willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, that's love right there. Someone is going to hurt you at some point in your life its up to you to decided who is worth it and who is not. Picture living with that one person for the rest of your life. Now, picture living without them. Which one's harder?

I Did A Good Job At Work Today!

Sometimes I've been thinking, eversince I left my employed jobs and started a career of my own I've never been experiencing any motivational gestures or speech of my job well done. But hell, I'm going to give one to myself and give myself a pat on the back for saving my own ass. I call this S.E.M.E.N (Self Esteeming Motivational Experience N..........) Haven't thought of the "N" yet..... maybe later. Anyway here's a taste of my own S.E.M.E.N and I hope you readers like it too.

"HAVE I TOLD YOU RECENTLY HOW GREAT YOU ARE?! IS THERE ANY ONE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT A SMASHING JOB YOU ARE DOING AT BEING YOU. OF ALL THE CRAP SHIT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH, OF ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE HAD TO BEAR, YOU STILL KEEP GOING DAY AFTER DAY WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE! IF ALL OUR YOUR DOINGS WERE PUBLICIZED YOU WOULD GET A NOBEL PRIZE. THE THINGS YOU HAVE DONE TO HELP AND UPLIFT OTHERS WOULD AMOUNT TO A MOUNTAIN AS HIGH AS ANY ON THIS PLANET. HOWEVER YOU DO IT, DON’T STOP! YOUR WARMTH, COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING.

THE COMPANY NEED YOU BADLY.

WHO'S YA DADDY!"

by Ed (S.E.M.E.N)

Happy News!

My best friend of many years is finally getting married (14 years to be percise). I saw it coming. That alone was a happy news. When she called to wish me birthday last nite, I have had some strange feelings about her birthday wish this year and it turned out to be a suprised. I guess I'm back to the old drawing board. I am going to just focus on my happiness and let the chips fall where they may.

Anyhow Kelly congrats! I saw that 'saman' coming! Just to let you know the police gave me a 50% off.