Passport Expires!!!

I need to renew my passport soon because I want to spent my Honeymoon. Currently, I am contemplating whether to snap photos in my current bloated form or wait till this balloony me deflates a little. I realised recently my pants are shrinking, no wait. Muahahha... what's this flabby flesh like flubber thing hanging off my torso? Oh it's my marriage present, meet uncle tummy. Wiggle wiggle wiggle..... hehehehe.

I've got so many question, should I cut my negro like hair?

How can I open my eyes bigger?

Should I show my teeth when I smile? (some dentist lost business for 15 years)

I want to make myself lean and mean again but futile.

What gotten into me?, Oh I'm such a dick.

Plasma TV

If you are short of cash to get a plasma TV here's a good idea you can make your own Plasma utilizing your current TV. Here's how...

Nice?

Here's how you do it.

Heroes relay!

I have finally finish downloading all chapters of Hereos 1-18 comes to about 6.0Gb of HD space! I've watch until episode 5 now and I can only tell you 2 words, MIND BLOWING! Heroes is the next best series I’m watching after Smallville. It’s about a group of ordinary people discovering their special abilities and using them to save the world.

Google Adsense

To my loyal readers, thank you for helping me make my first USD1.00 from Google Adsense. I have used other pay per click Adsenses but it's nothing compare to Google Adsense. Perhaps of it's popularity and wealth, people do click on "Google". You can make a quick buck too by signing up for Google Adsense here.

"Google AdSense is a fast and easy way for website publishers of all sizes to display relevant Google ads on their website's content pages and earn money. Because the ads are related to what your visitors are looking for on your site — or matched to the characteristics and interests of the visitors your content attracts — you'll finally have a way to both monetize and enhance your content pages.

It's also a way for website publishers to provide Google web and site search to their visitors, and to earn money by displaying Google ads on the search results pages."

Review on Heroes Series

I haven't got the chance to watch any of the Heroes series on HBO. The trailer for Heroes, has been getting play on the Web and the trailer looks good so I have decided to download it on Bittorent for the past few days. I have watch the first 3 parts of it and I'm beginning to get addicted and can't wait for the rest of the 19 episodes to complete. I really wasn’t expecting much at first. It’s international. The characters are well chosen and fit into all the usual stereotypes. They even play around with the idea of what a “hero” means, and the motivations behind that. There are some links between the people, common interests or people. Presumably as the show continues, we will discover more links that will draw them together. But right now it’s beautifully directed. Rich soundtracks makes the show sound even more interesting, and like something you definitely want to check out.

Ah Beng MTV

One day I was sitting down having dinner while watching TV and my brother showed me a mandarin-hokkien song from YouTube.com and I can’t stop listening to it's sillyness. It’s entitled “Muar Mandarin” sang in hip-hop style. A warning to those tuning in from the office, the song contains explicit lyrics. Totally stupid song but cool music video production.

This guy is a threat to the Klang & Penang Ah Beng's reputation because he is the greater Chow Ah Beng now and he’s from Muar! Kan nin nehh..

That Journey in Life

Fellow readers, I apologise for not updating my blog as frequently as before. I have been busy with life and life, to me, is all about falling, picking up, falling again, picking up again.. There are something, you wish you can own or you know you cant.. Something, the more you fight, the more the thing will drift further from you.. if you don't fight, you will regret.. I told myself before that, even if I cant get it, at least I already put in effort.. So I will continue to buy 4-Ekor for as long as I live. ;-)

On a serious note, nowadays, seems like I have wake up from a fairytale land where I used to live in.. Being pampered, showered with lots of care and love.. Even when I was down, I recovered very fast.. It seems like I am currently see the real world, a little wear out from all the sad and worry matters in the past.. But now I have more energy to charge forward, to achieve the things I want, I look forward to have..

I believe this is the period of time that I really need to set my priority right and choose the most suitable path.. I hate waiting and I push to get the answer ASAP.

Year of Pigs!

Just for Laugh!
Sounds "logical" deduction of pigs..

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
hence,
Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
if,
Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
in other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
hence,
Men = Pigs + earn money
if,
Men - earn money = Pigs
in other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep>
Hence,
Women = Pigs + spend
if,
Women - spend = Pigs
in other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs
Summary:
Men earn money not to let women spend become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!
Men + Women = 2 Pigs

Wish all the pigs happy forever.

I'm Back!!

I was back last Friday! It was a great holiday, although I feel like I need another one now to recover from it. I’ll start bloging once I am fully awake!

Koh Samui Here We Come!

Sawadikap......Finally a long break that I have been waiting for to spent it with my wife. I'm pretty hype-up about this trip. We are going to Koh Samui on the 1st Day of Chinese New Year which is on the 18th February 2007. I have not been there but I have read some good reviews. If any of you have been there please let me know how's it's like? So far I've only seen pictures of sand, beaches and naked girls. Will be back 23rd February. Till then Kongsi Kongsi, and to those who MSN for ang pao please read my blog on Jumping Into 4 Ekor

To Use Protection is Good, BUT........

I never had to use one before and I had dreaded the very day when i would be forced to. Sure, I know I should always try to protect myself but it just feels so much better to go without it, you know? I don’t need that extra… barrier. I just want to get things done and I will feel nice. I don’t want to have to reach for something else. You know what i mean?

Besides, it’s not as though i haven’t heard several complaints about it lately, as much as the media is encouraging the use of it. They keep saying it would be so much better and safer if everybody used one. So i knew it’s inevitable that some day, i would have to use it. My only wish was that the days before then would be prolonged for as much as possible.

I knew that those days had come to an end. When I had to use the RHB DotCom Card the latest security feature implemented by RHB Banks that puts the inconvenience into the formerly convenient internet banking. this, ladies and gentlemen, is the RHB DotCOm security card.

Facts About V - Day!

Ok as we burn rubber through yet again another year, Valentine's Day is fast approaching. I never thought I will write another post on Valentine's but this time it's different as I will be celebrating with my lovely wife. I found recently on the net that Valentine's Day is NOT an occasion of equality between the sexes, based on spending habits and perceptions around the world.

Let me explain and I speak for myself, we men said they plan to spend an average of RM500 for their partner, while the average for women is RM100. More than a third of women, about 39 percent, said they didn't plan to spend anything this Feb. 14 for their significant other. Most men, 71 percent, said they plan a night out at town, while 66 percent men predicted they'll go with flowers on Valentine's Day. The DNMS (dinner-dance-movie-sex) date night was also cited by both men and women, 62 percent, as their preferred gift. Well, just a food for thought on equality. Now I'm not saying it's gender bias but men are genetically generous, modest and gentlemen like creatures, don't you agree? Ahem.

Dirty Jokes

1. Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
   Mom asked "How do you know?"
   Girl replied "Last night when we made love, his cock was still inplastic cover."
   
2. Bangladesh Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
   Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."
   2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You gotnice house."
   
3. After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.
   Man asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
   Thai Girl replied: "No lah, just admiring your cock. I used to have onebefore."
   
4. Women's lives are hard. Morning wash clothes. Noon hang clothes.Evening keep clothes. Nite iron clothes.Midnight take off clothes. After midnight find clothes.
   
5. To make it straight she pulls it. To make it stand she rubs it.To make it stiff she licks it. To let it in she pushes it. True?Threading a needle is not easy.
   
6. Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:"Anyone got a cock?"
   All men rose."I meant anyone seen a cock?"
   All women rose."I mean anyone seen my cock?"
   All nuns rose.
   
7. A Sad story. A woman's husband died & she had him cremated.She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said" Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
   
8. Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
   Mom: "When you become a good girl you will get one."
   Girl: "But mom what if I am not a good girl?"
   Mom: "Then you will get many!"
   
9. A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:"
   If I give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
   Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties."
   
10. Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
    Teacher: "Why?"
    Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
    
11. Two sperms talking on mobile.
    1st: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you closeby?"
    2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing thetonsils."
    
12. Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a PENIS. This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought.

Random Thoughts

It's thinking time for me. I was going to post up this long thing that I was thinking about whether what I need in my life now. But it got longer and longer and the more I wrote, the more I had to write, so I haven't completed it yet. But maybe I'll just give you some food for thought first. I was thinking what I would think about regarding the needs and wants in my life now at the age of 30. The main things afflicting a person of my age group are usually one or all of the below by Ranking:

1. Appearance - Small moon orbiting around my waist as though a round planet.
2. $Money$ - Buying lottery makes me mad, always missing one number.
3. Health - Can't get out of my car, steering wheel got wedged on my belly.
4. Friendship - Recruiting Now, need by June, help in breaking down gate and door to get wife.
5. ......

Bad Addiction

Hello People, my name is EDMaestro. I am a Computer Game Addict (like forever). Whenever I start a game, I'm really into it, like I'm one with the Matrix. So whenever I'm plugged in, any talking, calling and shouting I won't hear it. I won't realize it until there is frustrasted heavy walking, angry door slamming and other irritated loud noises coming from my wife.

Night At The Museum

I had a weird dream last night that I was working in Museum Negara being chased around by Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat. It's true! but anyway "The Night At The Museum" movie was quite funny, reminded me alot of Jumanji. (the jungle board game that came alive remember?). I would have probably laughed harder if my wife's laughter can be softer than mine. HAHAHAHA, there we go. It was a good change from the usual love or action or horror movies. Go check it out.

What's in The News Lately?

I read the papers today and there was this news which made me go, what?!

Thailand has pass a law stating that a Husband can rape his wife And wife can rape the husband. The reason for this law is to respect the equality of gender in Thailand. Don't laugh it's true, go read today's paper. I guess there are just too many cases in the pass whereby the wife raped the husband but did not consider as an offence. But if a husband rape the wife, he is in big trouble. So the Thais approved the law that it's ok that you rape your wife who isn't giving you sex.

So how do you define marital rape in Malaysia? Let me tell you. If my wife want to rape me I must first shout No! No! No!, after that if she still don't want to stop her advance towards me I have to struggle a little to show that I don't want to be rape. Now after all that struggling I'm sure my cloth will be torn. I can report to police and tell them my wife rape me. Put in the report you shouted "No! No! No!", that you "struggled" and of cause "penetration". Oh don't forget, if you are the manly type, try to sniff sniff a bit in the police station, drama a bit. So this report can be brought to the court of law so that my wife can go to jail with all the key words stated.

I hope you learned something today. So protect yourself.

Jumping into 4 Ekor

Since everyone has been asking ang pow this year from me I want to let you know what is a good number to buy for Magnum, 3D and Toto today (Wednesday), Saturday, Sunday right up to Chinese New Year? Sinseh EdMaestro would like to give a little reward, a small token of appreciation, a small "ang pow" to everyone here reading this post. Since you have been my loyal readers for sometime now, Sinseh EdMaestro will give you all some reward for wasting time and bandwidth in my blog. I stress again reeeeemember to buy this number and you will sure to strike and hit the jackpot within the days mentioned. The lucky number is 0404. Why this number? Because on Feb 18th, 2007 when you meet people they will say "Kong Si Kong Si" to you. Kong Si Kong Si in hokkien means zero four zero four. So there you have it. 0404 is the significant number! Don't say I didn't tell you.

As for me I bought 5186 & 8421 today because 0404 is just for you. Good Luck

I Officially Declare...

I lost the fight against my tummy. IT WON and it is growing at a rapid speed. I've ignored countless advise to exercise. Now I suffer the consequences of being pregnant with fats around my waste. Damn you, good food! It is really too soon for me to morph into unclehood, i have yet to walk down the isle, and yet to shout yum sing and yet to have babies.

Oh talking about yum sing, today did the official list of friends i will invite to my dinner and I have to apologise for those i did not invite. It really doesn't mean anything, we can always come out for dinner and sort things out. Also nominated a few as my heng tai to break down the gate and door for my be love wife.

Now that I am done with the photo shoot $damages$, I was informed that I will be needing additional $$ by May since is the dowry & new furnitures month. So i have been saving this couple of days, hard but trying. In the end of the day, when I look back I will definitely feel impress to know that I have struggled and beaten the odds to wed somebody I really love. Broke but not dead, never mind it's part of life. I'll start again.

This is the Moment

Finally, our wedding photo shoot day! We had prepared well for the whole week in terms of using more money (sigh) for shoes, socks, shirts, beautician and a lot of other pamperingness. My wife puts on her Sussie Swiss whitening package (to me it's $$) every night and I actively popping Omega 3 capsules ($$). We are not nervous but worried that those pictures won't come out good since I have paid so much and getting prepared for it! Also worried that this people will put too much make up on me. Worry that smile will look fake, worry that my crater face will not look good blah blah. Ahem, don't laugh, I got my eye brow shaved and make up put on but I did beg for her not to powder too much as it would make me look artificial. And umm rejected the lipstick.

OK yesterday was a completely worn out day. I do not want to spent my whole day ranting about how it went but here's some photo's i secretly took which can explain partially how my day went. We were there from 9:45am to 6:30pm with non stop activities. I remembered we were changing a lot of clothing's in a day. Our outdoor shoot was in Putrajaya and guess what? It rained. The Photographer has assured us with the rain it's even better because we are able to do a lot of natural shots like playing with water, running in the rain which he said many couples don't get to do and it's different. It's convincing but it better look good on photo. We did a lot of candid shots which we really wanted like carrying my 'feather-like-weight' wife around, throwing her in the air, dip her legs into the lake...... (evil grin). I also had to take off everything from suit, tie, shoes, socks and vest since we wants it natural so photographer said take it all off, so I was like running around like a fish monger smiling and jumping all the way. Oh i remember climbing out of the building for a shot as well.

Our photographer was extremely funny! So we didn't have problems smiling and laughing whole day. Let me recall why he is funny. Firstly he introduced himself like how JamesBond would as "Wing, Chicken Wing". Secondly named us "Tai Lo" (brother) & "Ah Lang" (pretty). Thirdly, when he gets a good shot he does the Fist-Elbow move as if you scored a goal. Finally, if he wants us to laugh he'll do the HAHAHOHO noise. I can imagine now to become a supermodel is not easy, very demanding job. HAHAHOHO.

They did everything professionally and I'm very satisfied with that. All in all it was a great once in a lifetime experience.