My Lethargic Hamster!

I've written about my dog but here's something about my Hamster.

Yes it sounds gay that I have Hamsters? Since I have all that free time every night and since it’s a nocturnal mammal I will have something to entertain me with…. No, my meaning of entertain doesn’t mean that…... I don’t do beastility.

Anyway I have a Hamster and his name is “Hamster”, in the beginning I have 2 but the other one died of sex overdose. Again, it wasn’t by me, it’s Hamster’s fault. They fucked every night so Hamstress couldn’t take it no more and died.

My Hamster believes in nothing. I can't get him to wake up at night so I can play with it. I thought Hamsters like to be touch? My Hamster is a Syrian, a fairly active species. Yet morning, noon, night getting him to go on my hands is impossible. I tried to wake him up with the promise of foods. First I tried using Corn. Hamster too goddamn good for my Corn. Tried again with some Kua Chi. Same reaction….none. I thought he may be a Carnivorous so I tried some with my burger and it’s no ordinary burger a whole fricking BigMac. Nothing…

The little fucker would rather sleep in his nest whole day. I began to think he had a secret spot in the cage where he was crapping and pissing. I looked high and low, couldn't find a damn thing. Only one small lazy Hamster sleeping (well, I wouldn't call it sleeping since his eyes are open). No piss stains, no odors, no mystery piles of love. I figured, well, he isn't eating or drinking... And I thought maybe he was depressed when his Hamstress died. I've tried socializing him around other animals like my Dog, a Bitch. Hamster just stands there like "what the fuck I'm supposed to do with that? And that's what he does... Nothing. My Hamster, the rebel.

I Am 1,886,184,539th Richest in the World!

I have always known richness as a relative term. And have always thought that I hailed from a background which is and always will be as rich as the 'teh ais' they serve at the restaurants near my office.

Guess, that explains my eagerness in finding out where I stand in the big bad world. Knowing fully well that I will never make it to the radar of the Forbes editors, I embarked on a journey of my own. The journey that would end today, right at this posting... at the doorsteps of a website.

It is official that I'm the 1,886,184,539th richest person on earth! Funny, I felt happy after trying out the website's "Find Out How Rich Are You calculator" http://www.globalrichlist.com/ . Man...did not know I was this heartless. Neither did I know the World was this poor! I have managed to be beat 4,113,815,461 people from all over the World, in the income stakes. To be precice my figure is in the top 31.43% richest people in the world. Phew, I thought I was poor!

I Gotta Share This!

A friend sent me an email forward with this attached... Thought of sharing with you guys!

A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath."Mama," he asked, "Are these my brains?"Mama answered, "Not yet."

How's That?

Nyamuk Aedes is Back! RUN!

So it appears that the Dengue Virus is back!. Apparently there has now been reported cases of the virus causing death to many.

I don't mean to downplay the severity of such diseases, but has anyone else noticed that this has been blown way out of proportion by the our local Kliniks? If you don’t know what I meant, you should read my previous post “A Trip to the Doctor”. The Kelinik I went to, scare the shit out of me. Said I was diagnosed with Dengue Fever which I was just feeling feverish. I understand that there is a "Targeted" individuals who are more susceptible to the virus than others and that I am not of that individual myself being a relatively healthy, younger male with a good immune system. I do not fear this virus. I will continue to go to work, I will continue to be bitten by mosquitoes along the way even though my company ask me to stay home!I cannot bring myself to stop doing the things I enjoy simply because I "Could" be affected by a virus that "Might" be carried by a Mosquito that "Just May" be ready to bite me. I suspect that the law of averages is keeping me alive at this point.

Of course, now that I have written this, I will probably end up being the next victim due to my luck. But hey, if that is how I go, I suppose it could be worse, so if it is, meet you are Sunway Hospital.

Anyway here’s some of my own Safety Tips I would like to share but by understanding the basics firsts. We all know how to:-

1) Stay indoors at dawn and dusk
It means that no clubbing, no pak tor, no yum cha, no fcuking around in bushes….understand?

2) Wear protective clothing
Wear long-sleeved shirts, long pants, socks, closed shoes and Condom whenever you are outdoors for extra protection. You will never know if your zippers are down.

3) Use mosquito repellants
Don’t buy expensive repellants, it is also known that your own fart could kill those pesky little flying insect. (Proven by my friend who fainted after I let go 1.5 psi from my rear)

4) Eliminate standing water

Damn! I gotta flush my toilet now. (My flush handle broke last month)

5) Vaccinate yourself

Ooooh…. “Vaccinate yourself” sounds kinky. The hell with Antibiotics and start Vaccinizing me babeeey...