My Lethargic Hamster!

I've written about my dog but here's something about my Hamster.

Yes it sounds gay that I have Hamsters? Since I have all that free time every night and since it’s a nocturnal mammal I will have something to entertain me with…. No, my meaning of entertain doesn’t mean that…... I don’t do beastility.

Anyway I have a Hamster and his name is “Hamster”, in the beginning I have 2 but the other one died of sex overdose. Again, it wasn’t by me, it’s Hamster’s fault. They fucked every night so Hamstress couldn’t take it no more and died.

My Hamster believes in nothing. I can't get him to wake up at night so I can play with it. I thought Hamsters like to be touch? My Hamster is a Syrian, a fairly active species. Yet morning, noon, night getting him to go on my hands is impossible. I tried to wake him up with the promise of foods. First I tried using Corn. Hamster too goddamn good for my Corn. Tried again with some Kua Chi. Same reaction….none. I thought he may be a Carnivorous so I tried some with my burger and it’s no ordinary burger a whole fricking BigMac. Nothing…

The little fucker would rather sleep in his nest whole day. I began to think he had a secret spot in the cage where he was crapping and pissing. I looked high and low, couldn't find a damn thing. Only one small lazy Hamster sleeping (well, I wouldn't call it sleeping since his eyes are open). No piss stains, no odors, no mystery piles of love. I figured, well, he isn't eating or drinking... And I thought maybe he was depressed when his Hamstress died. I've tried socializing him around other animals like my Dog, a Bitch. Hamster just stands there like "what the fuck I'm supposed to do with that? And that's what he does... Nothing. My Hamster, the rebel.