Guide to Better Living after Marriage

People say after marriage the true self will reveal itself and it should be for better living.

I just had a nice and wonderful dinner and I'm farting through my mouth everything. Burp Burpppp Bruuurp!!! I am reaching deep within to bring up the nastiest, smelliest gas. It may even hurt coming up my troat but, the result is well worth the effort. Buuuurrrrppp!!!

ZZZZZzzzzt Piffff Pweeet Pooooot, that's my little fart, those are usually smelly. I gotta fart before I go to bed. Is it gonna be loud? No it shouldn’t be, let me see...

BWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

OMG people in Subang Jaya could have heard that!!

Almost A Burst Pipe

Last night i was travelling to Pekan Semenyih to have dinner with my gf. There was a slight urge to go to the toilet before I made the journey but i decided not to go to the toilet due to time constraint, anyway it's only 30mins drive from Puchong. So, I wasn't really thinking about going that time as my mind was thinking about other stuff. As i got to Semenyih coming towards an exit there was this mysterious jam. A jam that I had never encountered. From then on, my pundi kenching is filling up fast and is growing like a baby melon fruit. Trust me you don't want to be in the situation I was in. No place to stop, no "emergency" lane, no road side-side show. I can't do much but to pray hard that my pipe won't come busting out with really fresh warm chinese tea. I swear tears was coming out from my eyes. I was in pain, sweat and anger, so i picked up my mobile to call her, maybe some kind of conversation with her will soothe my urge to explode! Well it wasn't working cause somehow with all the pressure downbelow I wasn't thinking right, I felt she was whistling in the background, not good, not good. I told her to wait for me at the door so she could just let me in. I got there in the nick of time, rush to the toilet and let go the broken pipe, water gushing out like my kampung waterfall. What a good 5 minutes that was!!

Sex Education: The "Pinch" Method 101

Overcoming Premature Ejaculation and I call it the pinch method. It's is similar, but instead of just stopping stroking or stopping thrusting, you actually pinch the head of the penis to delay orgasm and reduce arousal. Don’t worry, it’s not as painful as it sounds, the “pinch” is actually more of a “squeeze.” With your thumb and forefinger you or your partner can apply firm pressure to the top and underside of penis head, just above the ridge on the top side, and just below the ridge on the underside. This puts the brakes on the ejaculation reflex, like holding back a sneeze by pressing under your nose. As with the stop-start method, practice the applying the pinch when masturbating, then with a partner jerking you off or blowing you, then try using it during sex. It’s less convenient than the stop-start method because you have to actually withdraw to do the squeeze. The trick is to get the squeeze on in time to actually halt orgasm. A firm squeeze at the base of the penis may also do the trick.

The purpose of both of these techniques is for you to become more aware of the feelings in your body while you’re having sex. Most guys can identify that “no turning back” point when they know they’re going to ejaculate and there’s no way to stop it. By getting more familiar with what it feels like before you get to that point of no return, you’ll be able to slow down what you’re doing and prolong your enjoyment of sex.

Oh Man....

As soon as i got up this morning, i felt really good! Mr. Stiffy acting up and does what it does best. Ya know, people talking about full breast and all, well I have a full crotch this morning and that's sexy! Maybe i'll have Cucumber salad with 2 eggs and mayonaise spread all over for lunch today. Health food.

My Hair!

Time has done nothing but make me miss my hair even more. There is no mourning for it. No one even realizes I miss it because when I first lost it, it didn't matter. People figure I have gotten over it. But, then again, I don't want pity, and I don't really want their sympathy, I just want my hair back. I just want to feel that prickly feeling. I don't want people to ask me whether I'm 18 or 29? I don't want to hurt over something that is so petty and pointless. I don't want to hurt over vanity. I just want my Pubic Hair back.

I miss my Pubic Hair so here I have written this poem for it:-
(yes I'm attempting to poem again, bare with me again)

Oh, my bushy shrub of once loved hair,

You've left me with pokey bare,

This is not a healthy fashion allure,

This can be enhance of my sexual pleasure.

(pronouce this in Italian "Plesseior")

by Ed

Meet My Brother, Mr. Stiffy

Good Morning People!! I felt great today!!

This is a subject many know about and few understand. I call it the morning wood. Most guys, for whatever reason will usually wake with some kind of a hard-on. Sometimes we wake fully erect, other mornings we are flat. Just to let you know you are about to read stuff for mature readers only. If you are not able to swallow the first paragraph, please do not read on.

OK.....In my case in all mornings I wake to a solid wood, (Mr. Stiffy) so full of life there is no way in hell I'm able to calm it down even with my own hands. This morning I woke laying belly down. Mr. Stiffy was so hard I could have used it to break glass and knock over brick walls. Had I not been careful I easily would have punctured a hole straight into my bed.

I really wish i can have the guts to show you a little more of a visual. I usually sleep nude. I have never want to wear clothing especially when i go to bed. I love bolster. I have one bolster size of an average person in my bed. I cuddle it to get myself to sleep. I am a cuddler and I’ll admit it. Seeing as I have been sleeping alone for years my bolster are rewarded with my embrace. I am sure I was having a dream this morning coz I woke to the sensation of the bolster which im cuddling with swollen Mr. Stiffy.

The thing that made this morning unique was how hard Mr. Stiffy was. I usually only achieve the 90% hardness but this morning was 99.99%. So like all men, my right hand slid down the to Mr. Stiffy and it was unbelievably hard. In that moment, with my eyes still shut, my mind still between asleep and awake, in a dream like state, i had to please myself. I came. I came, shooting like lava shooting out of a volcano. I was late for work!!!!