Facts About V - Day!

Ok as we burn rubber through yet again another year, Valentine's Day is fast approaching. I never thought I will write another post on Valentine's but this time it's different as I will be celebrating with my lovely wife. I found recently on the net that Valentine's Day is NOT an occasion of equality between the sexes, based on spending habits and perceptions around the world.

Let me explain and I speak for myself, we men said they plan to spend an average of RM500 for their partner, while the average for women is RM100. More than a third of women, about 39 percent, said they didn't plan to spend anything this Feb. 14 for their significant other. Most men, 71 percent, said they plan a night out at town, while 66 percent men predicted they'll go with flowers on Valentine's Day. The DNMS (dinner-dance-movie-sex) date night was also cited by both men and women, 62 percent, as their preferred gift. Well, just a food for thought on equality. Now I'm not saying it's gender bias but men are genetically generous, modest and gentlemen like creatures, don't you agree? Ahem.

Top 5 Signs She Is Not Interested

These are five foolproof ways that you might wanna know if a girl may be using to tell you to back off and leave her alone.

• She avoids your gaze and hardly makes eye contact. she’s happier looking down and around, at her food, at the surroundings, in fact anywhere else but your face.
• She does not appear to be interested in the things you say. she lets you do all the talking. her replies are simply “yes”, “no”, "really?" more frequently, “uh-huh” or "whatever"
• She ignores your calls and messages, sometimes ring ring ring then cut off. Worst can't even get through (you got the fake number trap)
• She makes sure you are aware that she is seeing other guys. Like "oh, my bf is standing over there...." while pointing to a direction full of man.
  and the number one sign…
• She tells you straight to your face that she’s not interested in you, and backs it up with facts and reasons, letting you know exactly where you fall short. (Some may even make sign language of the letter "L" on her forehead)
  

Okay i’m aware that i’m probably need to tell some of you guys frankly because i see some of you don't know how to write a 'shame' word. The only thing that’s more dissapointed is to see my fellow male kind that wouldn’t stop going after a girl who’s clearly not interested. Read the signs above. What a pity.

Relationship 101

I realized I have been away from blosphere for few days now. No updates whatsoever and readers come here regularly for updates. (Site monitor averaging 15 hits per day). Oh well, business has been very good, year end ma hence the busy-ness but I can never do it alone now that I have my wife working for me. OK now, let’s see what can I post today? I’ve been reading on the Internet lately about who are the most successful Dot.com s. Yeap you guessed it right, Relationships are the TOP 5 sites such as ‘forums’, ‘seek love sites’ and ‘love consultation sites’. People really pay real money for LOVE……. Besides that, Porn sites is number 1 la.

Ok maybe I can contribute something to the Internet on relationships. All my life I have been in long relationships back to back and I have never written any of my experiences. Not my personal experiences but more towards what I saw and learned through the process of love and relationships.

I sense that people always develop love from intimacy slowly from a friendship to a commitment where you participate with a partner who is capable of a fulfilling intimate relationship and of cause trusting and being trusted. If yours is based on a commitment, you will feel secure about the future of the relationship. There is no confusion or fear of abandonment. You do not have to cling to the partner in your life for fear that they will want to pull away. Sometimes you have to relax la and are not anxious about losing the relationship. A good relationship is based on friendship and respect.

I always think that in a relationship there is trust and concern about each other's welfare and happiness. You can openly talk about your needs and that you are listened to. If two individuals can resolve conflict in a peaceful and calm manner, feelings can be openly expressed. Conflicts are resolved by coming to a compatible agreement. There is no right or wrong person if the agreed decision does not work out satisfactorily.

When people say “your half” it really does mean you are the other half of the half. Get it? If there is good communication, there are feelings of closeness and joy. Both partners should believe that they can gain far more by remembering to keep agreements. There is no need to dominate and compete with each other..

Ah, talk of a future together. You will feel reassured by the relationship's steadfast constancy. You feel cherished and you feel contentment. You maintain your personal dignity. A good relationship is one where both parties balance each other in taking actions to make the relationship work. You are not a hero, go find a heroin.

Now that you have read through this post it is a good idea that you pay me by clicking ONLINE BANKING. Like I said people pay real money for Love.

The Secret

What is the secret to happiness? I'll sum it up in 3 words love, respect and communication. Loving each other as our own bodies, respecting each other, and communicating everything so that there is never any confusion with anything (and this avoids arguing too!!).

MSN Chat

Sometimes I wonder what do other couples talk about in MSN Messenger. No comments please.

Why I Love Thee

I've been writing every night, the only time I can be quiet by myself. The only time i can really write and be who I am in front of my computer. I would like to do something a little different tonight. It's only 14 days away and after all I'm feeling especially mushy mushy tonight. You will never see me write anything like this in my blog and you might never see it again after today and here it goes.

I know sometimes when in a relationship we forget the magical moments we experienced when we were first discovering each other. You know, those moments when our heart races or our breath quickens. We actually feel the power of love just by looking at someone. Soon, the reality of life takes over, it begins to crowd out those romantic feelings and soon you have something comfortable, something special but something that it's very easy to take for granted.

And I take my Fiancé for granted. What I took granted for is a lot of her love for me and I receive every bits of it and treat her the person in my life that she is. I forget to tell her how much better every single day is, just because she is in it with me. I pulled away from my past and she has given me the reason to start over, stood by me, never pushing me, never making me felt un-noticed.

Instead, she loved me as she always has loved me unconditionally and trustworthy. I never had to lose any of my belly for her to love me or to consider me attractive. She saw all that I'm uncovering now including my hairy ass, from that very first moment I saw her. When the world treated me like I was invisible, she was the only one who can see me. She held my hand and was never ever ashamed to present me to the world as the one she loves.

And she's the one that I love every day, in every way. I love being able to tell her anything without fear of being judged or reprimanded. I love how she makes me laugh and taught me how to make life fun. I love her for telling me it was okay to share all my thoughts with her and not to keep it inside me like I always do.

She gave me her heart, she gave me an extended finger for me to place a ring and who accepted me and my family. I know when I'm with her, love doesn't leave, no matter how bad things can get. I love you Carmen from this moment on, and forever. Thank you for being my biggest fan of my blog and for a thousand other reason why I love you.

Yes, I don't feel that mushy anymore therefore i can stop by now I feel a little kinky. Now here's a post about how I touch myself everynight and it goes like this, imagine pumping a shotgun.

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz.....

Stress Reliever

Lately I've been very down with family issues, china business headches, company headches and future plannings stress. Haven't been going out to party for a month. Sometimes when I'm down, the first person i turn to is my gf. She really understands my problems and make an effort to listen, advise me. Sometimes i felt that i have a meeting of minds between her and I. You know, when you have a very special feeling with her and both feel it at the very same time and it is a very important and unique feeling that I have never experienced before ever with anyone else...

I really felt valued and respected around her. I feel like I can talk to her about everything or anything at any given moment without any holding back on anything. She only want the very best for me and only wants me to be happy no matter what. This give me a lot of self confidence, self esteem, and self worth. I know i can turn to her when i have problems, she is my stress reliever.

Please la....

This few days I've had friends complaining about their partners, about this, about that. It is as though they are not ready for any commitments or relationships. Then why have one?? If you cannot accept them as part of your life then don't even start one!! Geez!! Relationship is not a ride in the park, it's about commitment and responsibilities not just LOVE! Not just one leg kicking and one hand clapping. If your partner wants to go happy happy joy joy and doen't seem to care about you, or don't get things done, then what can you do? Just blame yourself for putting yourself in this position. Nobody can help you but yourself, as a true friend i'm on neutral grounds, i can't side anyone.

A little personal note, people do change thru time, it's a matter of when? He can do all that he wants now but one day he's going to think deep, he'll know who's true and have been committed to him all these while. Break up is not the solution unless you are very sure of your future. Good Luck.

Love What is That?

Tonight I sit here pondering what love really is. It is late and I have work tomorrow however, I can not sleep. What is love actually? i asked myself. I've checked the online dictionaries. It defined Love simply as "an intense feeling of deep affection" and "Love is when you care for someone and are kind to them." This surprised me more than it perhaps should. The dictionary definition of love is just plain wrong! Love is not just an emotion of happiness, sadness, anger, disappointment, etc! In my opinion Love is not just a feeling. Its a 'decision', Love is a 'doing' word. It requires 'choices'. Hard choices, sometimes. It is about 'sacrifice' and 'trust'. It is about 'faithfulness'. It requires 'commitment'. I know it sometimes hurts and doesn't feel so good. As Daniel Bedingfield said in a song "Nothing hurts like love, nothing causes your heart so much pain" People who think love is a feeling will never succeed in marriage. They will never succeed in friendship. They will be likely to fail in most things they set their hands to.

When we claim that we love someone but are we correct?? This is what i think that it isn't love! Something for you to think about. If your palms sweaty and your heart racing it isn't love, it's 'like'. You can't keep your eyes or hands off of your partner? It isn't love, it's lust. Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of? Yes It isn't love as well, it's a lie!

But what do I know about the kind of love that defines anyway? People nowadays use the word love too easily, including myself. I suppose that is why we have other words like true love. What is love then if it is not true love? Is there such a thing as a half-love or one quarter-love?? I don't think so. One of the reasons why we separate the two terms is to protect our own fragile emotional selves. For example, if the relationship with the love of your life has gone sour people will say that it was love but not true love.

On the other hand there is the dark side of love. This side is the one that everyone unfortunately have had more experience with.

TLC

Trust, Loving & Care might seem as very simple words, but as a matter of fact, it's a HUGE word. Not many people can do and not many are trustworthy. People said that in relationship, trust, honesty and communications are some of the most important elements. Man, how accurate that statement is. I learnt 1st hand how hard it is to TLC someone, especially when there was a moment in the past that shattered everything I once believed in. For years, it haunts me. Really it does. For years, it always comes between me and whomever I care about. It's tiring and energy consuming for me.

I learned that you can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time. Though it wasn't easy at all for me to see it but I came to realize that not everybody was the same. I have to make peace within myself in order to move on. As hard as finding a needle in a haystack, there're still good people out there, and i am very fortunate to know one, Carmen Y.C.G.

With this new person in my picture now i've learnt that giving TLC is extremely easy. I once thought it was hardest thing on earth to do. Indeed it's very important in every type of relationship. None can work without it. TLC can be developed over time if you give the other person a chance to prove themselves and let them earn it. uhmm ONLY if you're willing and you truly care about the person. In the past few months, i had the best GF i've ever met in my life who had been showing me 1st hand about myself, relationship, the importance of TLC and communication, and how rough and tough life can be to certain people, yet I still manage to come out of it with flying colors. I haven't learnt that much yet, but considering what i have with me now, i just made a huge step in growing up with my GF's help. Thank you.

Being Grateful

I know in life we have to appreciate everything that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.

Many times in our life, we take things or people for granted, we just take and take and take without even once we stop, look around, say thanks or feel grateful for what we have at the moment. Then when those are gone, we started regretting our lack of gratitude all "what ifs?" and "i wish?" somehow come to surface, but it's too late cause sometimes certain good things only happen once in our life to the people whom i loved so dearly. Maybe it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, BUT it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives. It has already arrived for me and that's my YCG.

As Long That She is Kind

I just finished my business proposal for my new client in Penang. I think I did alright. I'm sure it could have been better, could have been worse if someone else have done it ;P. Anyway, I'm wasting time here until anything new is slamed on my office table. I was looking at DIY Love Websites and found some quizzes that was on it and I took the quiz test. Here's one of them. What is the one thing you want to look in a girl that comprised of? So basically, I'll like her as long as she's kind and not so much of intelligent but streetsmart.

Kindness is most important in a boyfriend or girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner and have them say anything to you. This way you are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason.

It's the Little Things

I just got back from Penang on a business trip, I'm really tired but I just have to get this down before the morning breaks. The little things that make me happy.... I'm really amused and suprised as to how much happier I am now. I truly felt like I'm somebody to someone and what's the word?....."Special" like this for such long time. I owe this to my girlfriend. xoxoxoxo

When I Was Young...

I look cute like this.... oh and that's my pretty mum next to me. Gooo gooo Gaaa Gaaa... I need fresh milk supply.

No One Can Help You But Yourself

I've read and heard alot of such cases and here I would like to stress a little more. Well at least it could be helpful to many who will read it. We cannot avoid as well as ignore where most people had relationships in their past that didn’t work. Most people have at least one such relationship that is very hard to let go of. Or this is the one that got away, but shouldn’t have. Or this is the one that felt as if it was meant to be. Or this is the one that felt like true love yet just would not work. How do you let go of a relationship like this??? Now here's something i found, it makes hell lot of sense and I think you should read it.

Posted by Rinatta Paries on November 12, 2005.

It is not easy to move on to another relationship after such an experience. It is not easy to attract love, or give your heart to someone new. It is hard to believe you will have such love and passion with anyone else. At the same time, it is hard to trust that you will somehow avoid hurt the next time around.

Another thing that keeps you hooked into that relationship is anger. Anger arises when someone has something you want but won’t give it to you, especially when the giving of the thing would seem to be the natural or the expected thing to do. You are justified in being angry, yet anger is a way to stay connected to someone, although not a positive way.

There is another reason why it’s hard to let go of the relationship that got away. The person you were in love with truly had great qualities. With him or her you had an incredible connection. Maybe he or she loved you intensely. He or she may still love you. The only problem in the relationship was that he or she could only treat you well part of the time. The rest of the time, he or she acted hurtfully towards you.

It is very difficult to throw away this type of connection. And it is more difficult still when you interact with the wonderful, caring side of him or her. Having to walk away from such a relationship can be the hardest thing you will ever do. Even when you walk away it may still pull at your heart.

It is so much easier to let go of someone when it is clear he or she doesn’t care about you. It may even be easier to let go of someone who dies, because there is nothing that can be done. But to let go of someone who is well and alive and loves you is an incredible task. Yet let go you must if the partner you are clinging to is not willing to meet your needs. If you are ever to be fulfilled in any relationship, you must let go completely of this past partner.

So how do you do this? How do you let go of the living, breathing former partner who may love you, or whom you may love, and/or who is not good for you? How do you let go of the one who seems to have been the one?

The first step is to understand that your partner would have given you the moon and the stars if he or she could have. Even when he or she appeared to be holding back or hurting you on purpose, he or she was always doing the best he or she could. Understand that he or she never intentionally hurt you.

To let go of your past relationship, you will first need to forgive your ex, forgive yourself, and understand that his or her behavior was not your fault. Understand that all that he or she did, the good and the bad all together, comprise the totality of this person. Sometimes he or she was wonderful and sometimes he or she was horrible. And all of the time he or she was the person you cared for.

There is no way you could only have his or her good side. Because you were connected to the whole person, you had to experience the bad side as well. His or her bad side was hurtful, and in the end the bad outweighed the good. Since the bad side was a part of the package and could not be changed, the whole package had to go.

Secondly, do something to honor and cherish the true connection between the two of you. In fact, you may need to honor that connection for a long time. There was a wonderful part of him or her, a loving and nurturing part. There was love for you; there may still be love for you. You may always love that part of your ex.

How do you honor the connection to your ex? Honor your love and connection in prayer, in your heart, in your thoughts, and in your actions. Use the gift of the connection as an inspiration to find more of that kind of love in your future partners.

When you are ready, send thoughts of peace, healing, and joy to your ex whenever thoughts of your past relationship cross your mind. Whenever you miss him or her, send him or her your love. In this way you can still love him or her, while keeping your distance and protecting yourself from his or her hurtful behavior.

You may be hesitant to do this. You may be afraid that it will make you go back into the relationship with your ex. But understand I am not saying your ex-partner will change and become more of what you wanted. Most likely, your ex will remain exactly as he or she is, at least as far as you are concerned.

The reason to honor your connection is not to somehow bring your ex-partner back. Instead, by honoring the good of the relationship, you become free of the anger you feel towards him or her. By honoring the gifts he or she gave you, instead of focusing on what he or she did not give you, you will begin to feel peace and gratitude.

Remembering that your ex came as a complete package, combining the very good with the intolerably bad, will give you the strength to not go back into that relationship. And freeing yourself of anger at your ex will give you the ability to move on and deeply love another person.

Behind the Smile :-[

This is a smile i drew myself. I always wanted to know what is behind this smile? Behind this smile :-[ is a person you'll never know, who has emotions that chooses not to show. Also behind the eyes are stories left untold. A dream that hasn't been accomplished and layers of skin like onions that have yet to peal off. Behind the face people don't know what to think and nobody will feel it's pain. And what causes this person to sink. Behind this smile is a world filled with uncertainty and sometimes the truth isn't enough but somehow it gets by. Behind the wisdom is someone you haven't met and could be your worst nightmare! You'll be afraid but will curious. What comes out from this smile are words that you can't explain. This person isn't normal nor plain but behind the shadow is a world left unknown. A past yet unspoken and that this person prefers not to show. How mysterious?

The "L" word

Love? It's kind of complicated, but I'll tell you this... the second you're willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, that's love right there. Someone is going to hurt you at some point in your life its up to you to decided who is worth it and who is not. Picture living with that one person for the rest of your life. Now, picture living without them. Which one's harder?

Doing the Right Thing

I just realized one thing, for me to do the right thing, I have to be really steady. Sometimes that means giving up the things we wanted the most. Not just our dreams but also love ones. Do you agree?

A Sudden Thought

Mindless Thoughts

You know I just wish there is a place,

I can go where no one can find me,

Even that could not happen,

I just want to run and never stop,

Until I fall down in exhaustion,

If I can't do that I wanna fly,

Really high,

And not ever look back!

by Ed

How to Communicate in Relationship?

I've always had this problem in communication if I'm in a relationship and i think many of you have this problems too. How many times in your past can you recall getting upset with your partner?. This then turned into an argument and you left with nothing resolved? Correct? I belief it is natural to want to express your thoughts and concerns when you feel wronged. However, it is also less natural for us to genuinely listen to the other person's point of view. This is the problem i think in humans.....

I find it that after relationships you learn through experience and practice to stop and listen when all you want is to get your point across. Everyone wants to be heard, genuinely heard, when expressing feelings. Sometimes when you approach someone from the "I" standpoint instead of the "you" standpoint, it changes the whole ways of communicaiton completely.

I've learn to take responsibility for my own actions and feelings to reduce the likelyhood of defence. I understand that relationships needs to be built on respect for one another!. I really find this very important. Again, it is ok to be upset with someone, the way you approach the situation can make a huge difference in the outcome.

I've got a few points here which i've heard and read about:-

1. Practice
Take ownership and responsibility for what you bring to the relationship. Instead of the "blame game", try approaching the situation with an open mind resulting in a solution as the end result.

2. Stop and listen
Next time you get upset with someone, be prepared to stop and really listen to what they have to say. Before jumping the gun and overreacting, take a deep breath and prepare how you want to approach the situation. Envision the end result in a positive manner with both parties being able to express everything without blame. This week practice the art of really listening. Take time to stop and really hear what the other person has to say.

3. Remember how it feels
Remember how it feels when you've been genuinely heard and understood? It is difficult to get upset when you feel understood, when there is little blame and more understanding of each other's point of view. Keep this in focus.