Long Term Relationship Is It Really Complicated? (PART II)

I have received a few comments on the “Long Term Relationship is it Complicated? Part 1”. Some of my fellow blog readers said that Marriage will solve all the problems and because it is time. Let me explain here why this is not always the way to solve problems.

Yes we all picture ourselves eventually settling down with the “perfect” partner and build a strong and wonderful married life together and even create a family. I know there is a lot more to marriage besides the romance and love you feel for one another. A good and healthy marriage requires effort and team work!!! BUT there are question we need to sit down and discuss.

So what makes this person the one? Obviously your first answer will be because you love your partner but that is not the question!! The question is, what makes this person, out of all the other people you have met, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? It is important to make a mental list on this, to prevent yourself from entering a marriage for the WRONG REASONs. Now here is the example I want to reply my readers; a wrong reason would be marrying because you feel that time is running out for you. I believe one cannot be pressured or allow others to pressure you with the idea that you are getting old and you are dating too long and may never have another opportunity to get married. You must have COMPETENCE you must be able to handle the different aspects of relationships with the opposite sex including conflicts. If you are not able to handle conflict and allow your partner to grab you by the balls. Then it will be your end.

First ask yourself if you are ready to be a wife or husband. Being a spouse is DIFFERENT than being a boyfriend, girlfriend or fiancé. It requires new and more RESPONSIBILITIES and a lot more ATTENTION.

Can you stay committed and faithful? Being able to commit and stay faithful is one of the biggest things that will lead you to marriage. Can you live with your partners lifestyles? If your partner has certain attitude that will drive you crazy, it can be worked out with effort on both your parts. However, if you feel you can never get along, then perhaps the two of you should not get married and continue dating and getting to each other before making any big decisions.

Last but not the least! Conscientiousness, what it means is individual who do unto others as they wish others do unto them, showing a kind caring approach are often conscientious. I know some of you out there felt that their partner don’t care how you are hurt as long as what they do is right, they are probably lack of conscientiousness. You will hurt more if you love your partner more then they love you. Yeah it’s a pain.

These are only some questions you should definitely find answers to before getting married. If you are confused on any of them or cannot find an answer, then do not get married until you do. If you want a marriage that will be happy, healthy and last forever, you should never involve yourself in a marriage until you decide you are truly ready for it.