Update: Personal

I had an urge to express myself today. Here’s that urge realized. I have a feeling in my chest that I do not know how to describe. It’s not fear, its not anger, its not frustration or depression. It’s like a joy and peace that I’m not familiar with. It’s like…just there. I feel as if I’m a different person than I was just few months ago. As if I’ve grown. I have leveled up, ascended if you will. Not to a plateau above other people just above who I was.

I’m a new me!! I’m told this is what you call enlightenment. I don’t know what to do with it. My mind keeps just trying to re-examine what I know to be fact. It’s trying to make things go back to the way it was but it can’t its like forever altered. But in the midst of my happiness I have fear. I have fear that this peace that I have just found will not last. I’m a little nervous about the events that occurred when I let go of the old and start a new. Things just went all, wow-y suddenly! I want it to stay like that but I don’t know how to make that occur. But I will certainly do my best that's just part of me.

I have this feeling of, ‘Ahhh.’, but, but...I don’t know. I hope I can keep the peace, because I think the clarity has started to surface. Or I’m growing use to it. No matter how great a thing is, it is up to you to keep its initial joy for a long period of time. I'm ready!