I'm Back!!

I was back last Friday! It was a great holiday, although I feel like I need another one now to recover from it. I’ll start bloging once I am fully awake!

Koh Samui Here We Come!

Sawadikap......Finally a long break that I have been waiting for to spent it with my wife. I'm pretty hype-up about this trip. We are going to Koh Samui on the 1st Day of Chinese New Year which is on the 18th February 2007. I have not been there but I have read some good reviews. If any of you have been there please let me know how's it's like? So far I've only seen pictures of sand, beaches and naked girls. Will be back 23rd February. Till then Kongsi Kongsi, and to those who MSN for ang pao please read my blog on Jumping Into 4 Ekor

To Use Protection is Good, BUT........

I never had to use one before and I had dreaded the very day when i would be forced to. Sure, I know I should always try to protect myself but it just feels so much better to go without it, you know? I don’t need that extra… barrier. I just want to get things done and I will feel nice. I don’t want to have to reach for something else. You know what i mean?

Besides, it’s not as though i haven’t heard several complaints about it lately, as much as the media is encouraging the use of it. They keep saying it would be so much better and safer if everybody used one. So i knew it’s inevitable that some day, i would have to use it. My only wish was that the days before then would be prolonged for as much as possible.

I knew that those days had come to an end. When I had to use the RHB DotCom Card the latest security feature implemented by RHB Banks that puts the inconvenience into the formerly convenient internet banking. this, ladies and gentlemen, is the RHB DotCOm security card.

Facts About V - Day!

Ok as we burn rubber through yet again another year, Valentine's Day is fast approaching. I never thought I will write another post on Valentine's but this time it's different as I will be celebrating with my lovely wife. I found recently on the net that Valentine's Day is NOT an occasion of equality between the sexes, based on spending habits and perceptions around the world.

Let me explain and I speak for myself, we men said they plan to spend an average of RM500 for their partner, while the average for women is RM100. More than a third of women, about 39 percent, said they didn't plan to spend anything this Feb. 14 for their significant other. Most men, 71 percent, said they plan a night out at town, while 66 percent men predicted they'll go with flowers on Valentine's Day. The DNMS (dinner-dance-movie-sex) date night was also cited by both men and women, 62 percent, as their preferred gift. Well, just a food for thought on equality. Now I'm not saying it's gender bias but men are genetically generous, modest and gentlemen like creatures, don't you agree? Ahem.

Dirty Jokes

1. Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
   Mom asked "How do you know?"
   Girl replied "Last night when we made love, his cock was still inplastic cover."
   
2. Bangladesh Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
   Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."
   2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You gotnice house."
   
3. After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.
   Man asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
   Thai Girl replied: "No lah, just admiring your cock. I used to have onebefore."
   
4. Women's lives are hard. Morning wash clothes. Noon hang clothes.Evening keep clothes. Nite iron clothes.Midnight take off clothes. After midnight find clothes.
   
5. To make it straight she pulls it. To make it stand she rubs it.To make it stiff she licks it. To let it in she pushes it. True?Threading a needle is not easy.
   
6. Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:"Anyone got a cock?"
   All men rose."I meant anyone seen a cock?"
   All women rose."I mean anyone seen my cock?"
   All nuns rose.
   
7. A Sad story. A woman's husband died & she had him cremated.She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said" Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
   
8. Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
   Mom: "When you become a good girl you will get one."
   Girl: "But mom what if I am not a good girl?"
   Mom: "Then you will get many!"
   
9. A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:"
   If I give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
   Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties."
   
10. Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
    Teacher: "Why?"
    Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
    
11. Two sperms talking on mobile.
    1st: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you closeby?"
    2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing thetonsils."
    
12. Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world is a PENIS. This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought.

Random Thoughts

It's thinking time for me. I was going to post up this long thing that I was thinking about whether what I need in my life now. But it got longer and longer and the more I wrote, the more I had to write, so I haven't completed it yet. But maybe I'll just give you some food for thought first. I was thinking what I would think about regarding the needs and wants in my life now at the age of 30. The main things afflicting a person of my age group are usually one or all of the below by Ranking:

1. Appearance - Small moon orbiting around my waist as though a round planet.
2. $Money$ - Buying lottery makes me mad, always missing one number.
3. Health - Can't get out of my car, steering wheel got wedged on my belly.
4. Friendship - Recruiting Now, need by June, help in breaking down gate and door to get wife.
5. ......

Bad Addiction

Hello People, my name is EDMaestro. I am a Computer Game Addict (like forever). Whenever I start a game, I'm really into it, like I'm one with the Matrix. So whenever I'm plugged in, any talking, calling and shouting I won't hear it. I won't realize it until there is frustrasted heavy walking, angry door slamming and other irritated loud noises coming from my wife.

Night At The Museum

I had a weird dream last night that I was working in Museum Negara being chased around by Hang Tuah and Hang Jebat. It's true! but anyway "The Night At The Museum" movie was quite funny, reminded me alot of Jumanji. (the jungle board game that came alive remember?). I would have probably laughed harder if my wife's laughter can be softer than mine. HAHAHAHA, there we go. It was a good change from the usual love or action or horror movies. Go check it out.

What's in The News Lately?

I read the papers today and there was this news which made me go, what?!

Thailand has pass a law stating that a Husband can rape his wife And wife can rape the husband. The reason for this law is to respect the equality of gender in Thailand. Don't laugh it's true, go read today's paper. I guess there are just too many cases in the pass whereby the wife raped the husband but did not consider as an offence. But if a husband rape the wife, he is in big trouble. So the Thais approved the law that it's ok that you rape your wife who isn't giving you sex.

So how do you define marital rape in Malaysia? Let me tell you. If my wife want to rape me I must first shout No! No! No!, after that if she still don't want to stop her advance towards me I have to struggle a little to show that I don't want to be rape. Now after all that struggling I'm sure my cloth will be torn. I can report to police and tell them my wife rape me. Put in the report you shouted "No! No! No!", that you "struggled" and of cause "penetration". Oh don't forget, if you are the manly type, try to sniff sniff a bit in the police station, drama a bit. So this report can be brought to the court of law so that my wife can go to jail with all the key words stated.

I hope you learned something today. So protect yourself.

Jumping into 4 Ekor

Since everyone has been asking ang pow this year from me I want to let you know what is a good number to buy for Magnum, 3D and Toto today (Wednesday), Saturday, Sunday right up to Chinese New Year? Sinseh EdMaestro would like to give a little reward, a small token of appreciation, a small "ang pow" to everyone here reading this post. Since you have been my loyal readers for sometime now, Sinseh EdMaestro will give you all some reward for wasting time and bandwidth in my blog. I stress again reeeeemember to buy this number and you will sure to strike and hit the jackpot within the days mentioned. The lucky number is 0404. Why this number? Because on Feb 18th, 2007 when you meet people they will say "Kong Si Kong Si" to you. Kong Si Kong Si in hokkien means zero four zero four. So there you have it. 0404 is the significant number! Don't say I didn't tell you.

As for me I bought 5186 & 8421 today because 0404 is just for you. Good Luck

I Officially Declare...

I lost the fight against my tummy. IT WON and it is growing at a rapid speed. I've ignored countless advise to exercise. Now I suffer the consequences of being pregnant with fats around my waste. Damn you, good food! It is really too soon for me to morph into unclehood, i have yet to walk down the isle, and yet to shout yum sing and yet to have babies.

Oh talking about yum sing, today did the official list of friends i will invite to my dinner and I have to apologise for those i did not invite. It really doesn't mean anything, we can always come out for dinner and sort things out. Also nominated a few as my heng tai to break down the gate and door for my be love wife.

Now that I am done with the photo shoot $damages$, I was informed that I will be needing additional $$ by May since is the dowry & new furnitures month. So i have been saving this couple of days, hard but trying. In the end of the day, when I look back I will definitely feel impress to know that I have struggled and beaten the odds to wed somebody I really love. Broke but not dead, never mind it's part of life. I'll start again.

This is the Moment

Finally, our wedding photo shoot day! We had prepared well for the whole week in terms of using more money (sigh) for shoes, socks, shirts, beautician and a lot of other pamperingness. My wife puts on her Sussie Swiss whitening package (to me it's $$) every night and I actively popping Omega 3 capsules ($$). We are not nervous but worried that those pictures won't come out good since I have paid so much and getting prepared for it! Also worried that this people will put too much make up on me. Worry that smile will look fake, worry that my crater face will not look good blah blah. Ahem, don't laugh, I got my eye brow shaved and make up put on but I did beg for her not to powder too much as it would make me look artificial. And umm rejected the lipstick.

OK yesterday was a completely worn out day. I do not want to spent my whole day ranting about how it went but here's some photo's i secretly took which can explain partially how my day went. We were there from 9:45am to 6:30pm with non stop activities. I remembered we were changing a lot of clothing's in a day. Our outdoor shoot was in Putrajaya and guess what? It rained. The Photographer has assured us with the rain it's even better because we are able to do a lot of natural shots like playing with water, running in the rain which he said many couples don't get to do and it's different. It's convincing but it better look good on photo. We did a lot of candid shots which we really wanted like carrying my 'feather-like-weight' wife around, throwing her in the air, dip her legs into the lake...... (evil grin). I also had to take off everything from suit, tie, shoes, socks and vest since we wants it natural so photographer said take it all off, so I was like running around like a fish monger smiling and jumping all the way. Oh i remember climbing out of the building for a shot as well.

Our photographer was extremely funny! So we didn't have problems smiling and laughing whole day. Let me recall why he is funny. Firstly he introduced himself like how JamesBond would as "Wing, Chicken Wing". Secondly named us "Tai Lo" (brother) & "Ah Lang" (pretty). Thirdly, when he gets a good shot he does the Fist-Elbow move as if you scored a goal. Finally, if he wants us to laugh he'll do the HAHAHOHO noise. I can imagine now to become a supermodel is not easy, very demanding job. HAHAHOHO.

They did everything professionally and I'm very satisfied with that. All in all it was a great once in a lifetime experience.

Top 5 Signs She Is Not Interested

These are five foolproof ways that you might wanna know if a girl may be using to tell you to back off and leave her alone.

• She avoids your gaze and hardly makes eye contact. she’s happier looking down and around, at her food, at the surroundings, in fact anywhere else but your face.
• She does not appear to be interested in the things you say. she lets you do all the talking. her replies are simply “yes”, “no”, "really?" more frequently, “uh-huh” or "whatever"
• She ignores your calls and messages, sometimes ring ring ring then cut off. Worst can't even get through (you got the fake number trap)
• She makes sure you are aware that she is seeing other guys. Like "oh, my bf is standing over there...." while pointing to a direction full of man.
  and the number one sign…
• She tells you straight to your face that she’s not interested in you, and backs it up with facts and reasons, letting you know exactly where you fall short. (Some may even make sign language of the letter "L" on her forehead)
  

Okay i’m aware that i’m probably need to tell some of you guys frankly because i see some of you don't know how to write a 'shame' word. The only thing that’s more dissapointed is to see my fellow male kind that wouldn’t stop going after a girl who’s clearly not interested. Read the signs above. What a pity.

Life Is Beautiful

It's 12:30am thought of closing off my day with a quick rant of what I've been up to this past days. Well Weekend partying is like ummm crazy. A friend of mine returned to Malaysia after months of "kakoonkup" at Thailand. Ever since he got back he has been repeating to us about how beautiful those she-males are there. I'm beginning to suspect that months at Thailand has made him Aquaish as well.

On Saturday sent my wife for some pampering, spent on Mani-Pedicure.

Did a little shopping with my wife this afternoon. She needs a white shoe to go with the wedding gowns and I had to get a white shirt preferably very the formal. It's all for our upcoming photo shoot this Thursday. So I got a G2000 shirt, pricey but nice and my wife finally got her shoes after weeks of searching for a right pair. Though she is still not satisfied with that Vincci shoe, to me it pretty whatever she puts on.

Trust me, at this moment I look like an overgrown melon now, been overly indulging myself in the food I crave, drinks I love, smoke I yearn. There goes my discipline, I never will learn, will I? Ahh Life is indeed beautiful!

Thank You!!!

It's my 3rd year at blogging with 7000 hits so far. Thank You All!!

Blood Test Result Out!

If you read my earlier post I written on my bloodtest. I'm officially a Thalassemia carrier, it means I have the gene. Well, it's definitely in my entire family genome and it's going to stick with us for the whole entire generation to come. Well, what the hell just as long as my wife doesn't have it, which she doesn't so our children won't be Thalassemic. That's a great relief and a good to know. Anyway here's some of the problems i need to look into.

My cholesterol level is horrible, has been for the years and it has put me in full blown PANIC mode! It's not pretty having bunch of cholesterol swimming around inside my body. I know, I know, panicking isn't going to help bring my cholesterol down, but there are times where I can't help it. The problem I'm having is actually eating my favorite food, food I really like, I can't do it if you ask me not to eat them. I survive on tasty food! I've been eating pretty much the same as usual and I feel ok for now. They recommended me Omega 3 if I decide that I don't (won't) exercise much.

My Liver watch out! I'm not happy with how I've been managing my nicotine and liquour intake lately. Although, I have the best intentions of staying in control, things have kind of slipped up recently and more often than not. I'm happy now which, if you know me, is something that I like. Personally, happy makes me feel out of control. I know that it's my own fault... at least mostly my fault *grin*. So I'm trying to take responsibility for things. I haven't been taking as good of care of myself lately and I don't think I have any excuse for it.

My Protein level is a little high in my urine. I really haven't heard anything like this before. Protein in urine?? Hmm... i don't remember masturbating the night before the test?? Umm... wait!

So after hearing all that consultation messages I spent the entire evening pondering about what I can do, the long list of things that I might never be able to eat, drink, smoke, masturbate again.

Hard Boiled Eggs On Fire!

I'm pretty sure everyone knows how to boil eggs. Before you put the eggs in, covered them with water then put them on the stove to bring them to a boil after 10 minutes or so it's ready. So how can anyone boil eggs which almost cause the house on fire and smoke?

My dear beloved brother who came back high from drinking last night decided to boil some eggs to eat but due to his exhaustion and alcohol prone brain he decided to take a short nap while waiting for his eggs to cook. So, 5 minutes went by, then 10 minutes passed by, then 30 minutes, then 1 hour, then God knows how long the stove was left burning the poor frying pan while he was still in dreamland.

From what I heard the eggs which turned into atom bombs exploded into smithereens and not a single drop of water was left in the pan. So exploding eggs plus hot dry frying pan causes??

That's right smoke!! Lots of smoke, if you know what Haze is that was what happened to our house, dead wrenching smell of rotten eggs aroma filled the entire house. I'm sure those people inside the house would be choking and desperate for air by then. Well he got up in the nick of time before the house was on fire.

Blogging is like Work Out

I find that the longer I go without blogging, the less I feel like blogging. I think it's similar to exercising, the longer you go without exercising, the harder it is to get back into it. Exercise has obvious benefits, blogging, maybe not as much. But I think one of the benefits is that it allows you to remember what you were thinking or going through over time. Sure, some of the stuff that I blog about may be crappy, but I think it's neat looking back after awhile. However, it seems like if I don't write about something soon after I think of it, I forget about it or don't feel like blogging about it later. The first thing I'd like to do is to start exercising regularly though if it gets harder the longer you don't do it, I'm going to have a hell of a time starting again. Maybe I'll think about more stuff to blog about while I exercise.

Alive and Kicking

Yes, readers, I'm still here and kicking. I just haven't felt very chatty. Part of it is that things are starting to get busy with this new year schedule and the ensuing my big day in June 07 and once I finish with that, woopie!) I tend not to want to talk to anyone and part of it is that I really don't feel that I can blog about a lot of the things I would chose to blog about, so it's easier not to blog at all.

But overall things are going well. General things I've thought about blogging and will touch on now:

Been very busy at work, felt like hanging myself.

I love modern technology. Because of my schedule, I have had to miss some of my favorite channels on Astro (Discovery, National Geo and especially Animal Planet). I miss the animals because that's the only time I can watch Wild Sex with my family.

Went for a blood test to check on Thalassemia whether or not if I'm a carrier cause my family tree seems to have it. Scientifically, if both are carriers you have 99% chance that your kid will be a Thalassemic. So better be save than never. Anyway my blood was drawn out by a "space shuttle countdown nurse". Before she puts the needle in me, she said "Ready? 3, 2, 1...". I was like Oh My God she is making me nervous, "3" Gulp!, "2" sweat coming down my face, "1" Argh! My balls shrunk. Dark red gooie bloody oozes into the syringe.

Took my wife for Wedding Gown Fitting yesterday. I can't describe how I felt at that moment, but damn my wife is hot! I swear if there was a bed there I would have done the unimaginable.

I'm putting on this weight which I have difficulty loosing, I have a tummy growing on my face. Yeap, I look like a walking lollipop.

That's all for now. I'll try not to let another month go by before my next post. *lol*

Last Week of 2006 Review

Let us welcome the new year 2007! What a week it was!! I had great fun and joy.

What my wife and I did for the past week of 2006!

• Christmaz Singapore Trip
• Velocity Rave Party Sunway Lagoon Beach Pool
• Celebrating New Year with Crazy Drinkers
• Did not smoke for the past 1.5 days!

Nation's Agenda!

• Snailmyx took the opporunity to blame Taiwan quake for the snail pace like speed connection.
• Government blame monsoon season for Johor Flood. (How come Singapore not flooded, do you think their longkang and sungai are more cleaner than "ours"?)
• Sadam Hussein hanged, poor dude executed for killing hundreds during his reign. I wonder what Bush was punish for misleading his nation on WMD and killing thousands of innocent civilians during his bombing raid on Iraq? He puts it as "Casualties of War" Blah!
• Selamat Tol Baru 2007

So here i am again blogging after being away for the whole week. I hope nobody misses me. I am happy this morning knowing only 2 of my customers owing me 1mil. I wonder how it would be like if they paid up. Anyway I'm still very happy that tomorrow I'm going to try on some wedding suits, whether it will be white or black it all depends on how i make the suit look good on me. Can't wait to see my wife in her wedding gown, it will be a beautiful sight!!