Brokenback Mountain

Ok, I know what you'll be thingking about. I am not the first to blog about it. In fact I have been avoiding it simply because others are covering it far better than I am. However I did watch the movie in my office. Blogging about this movie does not make me a gay just to clear the air before I go on. This is the first time that I am attempting to write a review and my thoughts on a movie. So bare with me.

Here are my thoughts on this very controversial movie and the lessons that I’ve learned. It's been talk of the town so I hope it will be interesting for you readers.

Lesson 1: Gay men can be tough, too. Therefore, all the gay characters in this movie are cowboys (although they are technically goat herders or are those sheep?) who are tough, strong, and fighting men. They'll beat up someone who yells at them. They'll even break women's hearts. See, they are just like heterosexual men. As a matter of fact, the heterosexual men in the movie were consistently soft & wimpy. So, straight men could be bastards. LOL. I’m contradicting myself in my “All Men Are Assholes” post. Hmmmm. Lovely lesson right after the movie.

Lesson two: Love is not reserved for heterosexuals. The only ones who had "true love" in the movie were gay. All heterosexual couples were miserable. So glad I now know that being heterosexual doesn't guarantee love. (Please… I know what you are thinking now, stop it!)

I hate to be so sarcastic. But, I also don't appreciate being patronize too. Perhaps, living in KL city doesn't help because there is stereotyping message everywhere base on your appearance!

Now, I would never condone any sort of mistreatment or violence of any human being, regardless of their sexual orientation even lesbians. I love them. But, that is not what this movie is about.

This is supposed to be the "groundbreaking" love story. Well, I realized about half way through the movie why it is so groundbreaking. It does a masterful job of taking a highly sensitive and controversial subject, throwing in homosexual sex scene, shaking the ground hence breaking it. Somehow I still find it incredibly boring film!! (No really, it is, even to me.) That must be groundbreaking but maybe if I’m gay I would love this film. :P

p/s: This entry is dedicated to Ryan & Jeffrey for coming out of their closets, congrats.

Meet My Brother, Mr. Stiffy

Good Morning People!! I felt great today!!

This is a subject many know about and few understand. I call it the morning wood. Most guys, for whatever reason will usually wake with some kind of a hard-on. Sometimes we wake fully erect, other mornings we are flat. Just to let you know you are about to read stuff for mature readers only. If you are not able to swallow the first paragraph, please do not read on.

OK.....In my case in all mornings I wake to a solid wood, (Mr. Stiffy) so full of life there is no way in hell I'm able to calm it down even with my own hands. This morning I woke laying belly down. Mr. Stiffy was so hard I could have used it to break glass and knock over brick walls. Had I not been careful I easily would have punctured a hole straight into my bed.

I really wish i can have the guts to show you a little more of a visual. I usually sleep nude. I have never want to wear clothing especially when i go to bed. I love bolster. I have one bolster size of an average person in my bed. I cuddle it to get myself to sleep. I am a cuddler and I’ll admit it. Seeing as I have been sleeping alone for years my bolster are rewarded with my embrace. I am sure I was having a dream this morning coz I woke to the sensation of the bolster which im cuddling with swollen Mr. Stiffy.

The thing that made this morning unique was how hard Mr. Stiffy was. I usually only achieve the 90% hardness but this morning was 99.99%. So like all men, my right hand slid down the to Mr. Stiffy and it was unbelievably hard. In that moment, with my eyes still shut, my mind still between asleep and awake, in a dream like state, i had to please myself. I came. I came, shooting like lava shooting out of a volcano. I was late for work!!!!

Pick Up Lines

I've not done this before until recently, you know when you go night hunting ... um I mean night "outting" with friends but have nothing to do but just bird watching, your brains starts processing. (well it depends where my brain is at that time, maybe down there). I've been thinking about this a lot and it's about time that i share my thoughts with you guys. I wouldn't advise you to use these lines but if these pickup line works please do let me know. Maybe just maybe i will get a positive respond or perhaps a kick to the groin.

• Talk to me babee, talk to me!! (pointing finger at yourself)
• Over here, over here (standing right infront waving)
• So what do you like over breakfast? (works only when the place closes at 3:00pm, go jalan ipoh makan tim sum, or pudu eat chew chau porriage)
• You have a tissue, I'm hot standing next to you
• Hey baby you have something on ur butt.... My eyes
• I'm ugly. So I try harder
• Hey it's me!
• What's your sign? (Hopefull she doesn't reply with DO NOT ENTER)
• So what do you do for a living? (female impersonator.....hahha just joking)
• Wasssuuppppp! (with tongue sticking out)
• Anatawa sushi yamatei suzuki yamaha (tell her it means you look good tonite)

How did i Start a Blog?

Many people ask me this "where did you find the time to write so much everyday". It is really not that difficult but most importantly think creative & be creative. That way you can blog about anything & everyting in the degree of seriousness and humor in your entry. I blog for myself mostly and it is me in this blog. I have a feeling that I will come back to everything I've written one day and feel a touch nostalgic and also embarrassed in equal measure. P/S: I do it for the chicks as well, chicks dig bloggies like me. (In real life they don't boohoo).

Cock Repairer

How come some of us asians especiarry the Chinese cannot pronouce the "L" properry? Sometimes they choose not to put it in the word that they are pronouncing at all. Sort of like a sirent "L". Is it rearry a tounge twisting retter that in many generations got us inbuilt with such gene defect. Well here's a good example of what I'm trying to tell you:-

Crick to downroad:-
Cock Repairer

(if it doesn't download Right Click on link and choose "Save Target As")

Attempting Poetry Part II

I've been criticized that i can't do poetry but I don't give up easily. I wish you can hear me read it out loud to you while you're on the balcony while I'm outside your garden brasing the rain. Anyway here's something i can write about my weekend.

WEEKEND

I'm out for a party,

To drink and have fun,

I make many friends,

All night I shook hands,

Some are shy,

Ask I will to why?

And she reply,

All I can think of,

Is your little one.

by Ed

I hope I'm improving.... I don't want to dissapoint my readers. By the way when she said "my little one" is actually my pinky finger, coz it's cute.

Squat or No To Squat?

I've been thinking of what to blog, all I had in mind was what I did over the weekend which is drink, drank, drunk. On Saturday went to a Birthday gathering at Sheraton Imperial. We used the bathtub as ice buckets. That's all I can remember....

So this time I wanna blog about something different. Recently I'v been deprived myself of sleep therefore I shall just write something short and simple. Here goes....

"I hate squat toilets!!"

I do not understand why people make Squat toilet bowls? Why do they even have those in the public toilets? I have a squat one in my house but i never use it and I hated it so much that I don't shit there anymore. There are many reasons why I hate squat toilets.

1. My nose is NOT any further away from my shit.
2. When I pist, to aim 1 meter away is no easy task.
3. Upon impact my pist will get sprayed everywhere and I had to wash my legs on the way out.
4. There is no seat so you can't sit and read when you want to take a crap. I'm a multi-tasker.
5. Crapping on squat toilet make my legs cramp.
6. Sometimes i had to remove my pants either from one side of my leg or both to crap.
7. My handphone is more likely to drop into the toilet and get shit all over it especially if you keep it in ur back pocket.
8. I notice on seated toilets my butt covers the seated surface of the toilet bowl, so it wouldn't be too smelly furthermore it goes into the water below. Pooome!
9. The squat ones, it take 1 second for my shit to drop and upon impact it releases gas from my stinking shit.
10. Sometimes the impact on the ceramic is so hard, even after you flush, there will still be some shit residue sticking on it. That's disgusting.

Man... whoever invented Squat toilets, it is the worst invention in the history of mankind. What about you people what do you think? Am i right or am i RIGHT?

100 Things About Me

Sorry for the delay in adding any fresh updates. I’ve been working on this for awhile so here is part one and more to follow when I find time to finish the list.

• 1. My name is Edmund.
• 2. ...... (almost done.)

Me Office Environment

A poor working environment in offices across KL is damaging morale, cutting productivity by a fifth, and costing the economy every year, according to new research."

What contributes to the facts above:-

Picture 1 - Messy working table

Picture 2 - My Sexytary.

Life Is Confusing

I take my life seriously but hell, it such a confusing thing. As soon as you think you know what’s going on, suddenly it all changes. My life in particular does that. I think "God" is leading me one way and then, hold your horses, it turns another way. This makes things very complicated for me. Sorry this is a boring short entry, just bare with me.

I'm Not Gay For God Sake!

I've been talking crap for this one year plus on my blog and I've never talked anything serious about myself. Even if I have got emails asking me on a personal note I've never once replied them seriously and I apologised for that. Yes I may be sarcastic or witty at times but I'm totally a normal person. For those who wrote to me asking me if I'm gay, I'm sorry I'm not. Sorry to dissapoint some of you and to others you have my word that i still like Chicken Breast.

Well, I consider myself an extremely nice and polite person. I also feel that I'm quite mature and intelligent (don't worry, I have self-esteem issues in other areas!). I absolutely love talking and having great conversations with others. In fact, I probably talk a little too much (people have said in the past that I'm long winded). I have a great sense of humor. Sometimes I don't limit myself in doing what i love which is to make people laugh. If you're happy, I' happy.

I don't consider myself a typical male because I don't watch much sports unless the team I like and I know almost nothing about nice fast cars, either. I like dancing (I promise! I'm not just saying that like most guys do!). I use this smiley face a lot, too ---> :) Some people find that gay. Though I may be an a typical male, I'm most certainly not a gay one. :) My pictures does NOT tell a thousand words. No! Brown contacts, earings and that kinky smile does not make people gay! Making doggy style gestures with guy friends in public does not make me gay either! Sheeesh!

Though I'm not always a crazy, super wild party-animal. I got a lot of it out of my system in college! I would definitely enjoy going out with people at least twice a week. I also really like having meaningful conversations with others over starbucks, Halo Cafe & etc.

Well I did it, I wrote something serious about myself and I know some of my friends & people who might be reading this are laughing their heads off. Go ahead..... laughther is the best medicine anyway.

Carpe Diem!

SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!SEIZE THE DAY!

I'm Broken, Fix Me...

Listening to: James Blunt

Feeling: All Fucked up.

My Quickie: I wish someone would just switch me off and fix me

Sometimes, I wish that life was just like a game, you can start all over again by just pressing the "Restart" button and play your life all over again. I wish that there was a cheat which can make you so perfect that your partner can't believe that it was fucking true.

I have so much expectation to achive but I failed. Sometimes, people try very hard to strive for something. Then you stop and think to yourself. "Does it really fucking worth it? All the blood, sweat and tears?" AND I just came to my conclusion that everything you strive for, just do your best, even though if you failed, it's still worth it coz you know you have done your best. Whatever your friends, parents, relatives say. Just ignore it!! Concentrate on what your focus & priorities are and that's what i do.

I've Got A Flu Headache

So I'm sitting here in the office. With a freaking flu and banging heahache. As If my life wasn't horrible enough to deal with as it is. Im sure it'll clear up by 5pm because THAT'S WHEN I HAVE TO GO HOME. Right now I have snot dripping out my nose, my head is banging and my staff is avoiding me like the plague. Well at least some good has come out of this. I can't believe my body is ultimately being defeated by the power of an organism so small that is invisible to the naked eye. Little bastards I'll show you who owns me as I shoved 2 sticks of Vicks up my nose.

"All Men Are Real Assholes"

I notice whenever I have any conversation with a women, they tend to say this. "All men are bastards!" (Well I added the 'Real' on the Title to make it more significant) They declare loudly and proudly with both hands pounding on chest. You know la like King Kong but it doesn't have breasts, ummm sort of.

Well.. with this post I want to dig deeper as to why men are bastards? or some labeled us as Assholes. Does it ever occur that maybe, just maybe NOT all men are bastards and that perhaps just perhaps, that 50% of the population in Malaysia is just as diverse as the other 50%. Maybe, just maybe. There's something wrong with women that made us a bastard? What do you think?

Allow me to explain, when women say "All Men are Bastards" what they really mean i think is "All the men I date are bastards" which really brings about the inevitable question "Why do you continue to date them?" The fact is that most of these women are attracted to the kind of man that treats them like they have sweap them of their feet. The fact is "All Men are Bastards" is a Malaysian stereotype, yet when I unleash stereotypes of womankind I'm a bad person. How come when I say "Come to Papa" in a demanding tone of voice as I lie sprawled across the sofa after a hard day of masturbation that I'm the bad guy? After all, it appears we stereotype the genders, and the female stereotype is that all men are demanding, arrogant, insensitive assholes and we have to listen to this selfishly from women constantly.

I can't change that stereotype, Yet before i utter a word to strike conversation, I'm already the bad guy, yea an asshole. Is there an organization in Malaysia that I can complaint about Domestic abuse from women who say "All men are Bastards"? like those Sexual Harrassment Organization for Women.

HELLO SIME DARBY PEOPLE

I have a greater sense of significance when others are WORKING but you're not and letting me know you're reading this. BUT HELL, when we do something in the office no one notices, it's easy to feel unappreciated and insignificant in the scheme of things. When you don't feel what you are doing matters much, then it's easy to get distracted and waste time, like what you people are doing now :P

Cheers! & Keep Up The Good Work.

I Want To Tar Fei Kei!

I don't know how many of you masturbate frequently, but if you don't.. START NOW! I read this article on BBC News masturbation stops prostate cancer also known as Testicles Cancer or better Balls Cancer.

Why? Masturbation is good for you. First of all masturbation stops prostate cancer (Your Ball) yup that's right folks! Masturbation stops you getting prostate cancer, I am never getting Prostate Cancer coz I wack off all the time. Never stop. In bed, in the shower, in the office, in the car. Everytime I have a spare moment I wack it out, and remember, everytime you do you reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer. Hey, you're not doing it for you, you're doing it for your prostate.

Print a copy of that article out, and put it under your bed. If your mum walks in to see that that you're watching porn and wanking, get out the article. Explain to her that you are only trying to make yourself healthier. You're only trying to keep safe mum! She'll hug you and leave you too it. Make sure that when you hug her your dick has deflated, else it could be worrying. Now, if you have a partner even better, the more the merrier. I help you, you help me.

Second of all masturbation relieves stress. When you orgasm your body produces a large amount of "serotonin" (article said so), this creates a general feeling of well being. Stress is linked to a variety of problems the heart, drowsyness, constipation, loss of appetite, and it weakens your immune system making you more likely to get diseases like the Bird Flu or Food Mouth Disease. So go ahead and "Tar Fei Kei", stop minor diseases!

Third of all masturbation helps you sleep. When you reach orgasm or so your body finds it easier to sleep. That's why everytime after sex u feel like sleeping. Lack of sleep is linked to stress problems, but also mental problems as well, such as poor vision and lack of concentration (which can affect your office work)

Hell! Im typing one handedly right now and I'm feeling real good. My right hand is uhh busy. Ahh the internet!, such a wonderful thing. Lucky I'm no Catholic, a monk or a nun, they prefer not to masturbate. So masturbate it's not really for fun, it's for the good of your health!

I'm Cummin!!!!

Quikie!

No not that Quickie, that you do in the car or the public toilet or in the park or even at the Mall stairway.

My Quickie: Don't test your stamina now. Eat well, get plenty of rest and treat yourself right.

Other People's Ouickie: There are certain qualities about you that are incandescent, but you're too stuck dwelling on your so-called negatives that you can't see them. Discover what it is that makes you special and worthwhile.

So... i check my Horoscope EVERYDAY, and i said to myself "lately I've been eating alot, and need to cut down especially on the size of my meals". Easiest way to lose weight is to cut down ur meals, meaning try to eat a meal, but don't eat to the point when ur like stuffing your self. I did that for a month and i saw change in my face..... It didn't get any smaller, anyway i'm still trying. Unfortunately when i gain weight it goes straight to the face, and it pisses me off. I plan on working hard in fitness first for a month period and I'm hoping to tone up and eat healthier. That being said, i started my day with coming into work and eating 2 sandwiches for breakfast & lunch, i kept telling myself that my horoscope told me to eat well, and that's what i did, but i may have misunderstood, cuz i shouldn't have eaten sandwiches i should've ate the 2 piece of oren and 1 b.a.n.a.n.a i brought from home which is undoubtly 6 inches long.

Lave Party!

Rave partae wooot wooots! Im going who's going with me. I've got a few kaki's here already. DJ Tiesto wei, world's number 1 DJ! Please let me know.

A Day At Work Of Laziness

I normally have no problem doing work,
But these past weeks it's been beyond my power,
To concentrate for a few hours on a relatively simple work,
Whenever I try I find,
There's more important things on my mind,
So I end up making Milo,
Sitting down and doing nothing instead,
I really need to sort out my head.

LOSS

Maybe I should attempt to blog in poem. At least it's more beautiful this way:-

When I think of what we've lost,
It's not what's gone behind us,
It's the future of happiness that cost,
In which we will never find us.

I suck at ryhmes!

Simple Favour

This post has been removed due to unforeseen circumcision.

I Spotted A Hummer

Lalalalalala.... then suddenly zoooooom! I was like WTF?! A huge car just went by me, nothing that I've ever encountered on these roads especially in KL. I was trying hard to catch up on it but to no avail. A humvee also known to the Americans the "Hummer". To those who doesn't know what a Hummer is, Born in the Americas as a military tactical unit and logistics now has since been commercialise. Oh it cost no more than RM 2.0 million. I was lucky to have spotted one which bares the number place WLC 1. Notice the brake lights, super bright!

I NEED SEX!

One of my favorite Astro channel would be Discovery now. The other day they were showing the "Human Body" and did you know that you can tell from the skin whether a person is sexually active or not??

What I'm about to write here is the courtesy of The Discovery Channel. I swear I did not make it up and from now on I will see SEX in a different manner. As I was saying, YES Sex is a beauty treatment, it seems tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth. So ladies if you need more hormone discharge let me know.

I always thought rough sex is more benefitable, damn! but it seems gentle and relaxed lovemaking will reduce your chances of suffering skin problems. It says all the sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow. I think it's true, there is only oen part of my body that glows.

Ah we all know sex can burn up those calories. I think Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up rather than going Fitness First everyday. It says that it will stretche and tone up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than running laps, and you don't need special Nike sneakers! I TOTALLY AGREE!

You know, I've been having mild depression for sometime now but after watching this i found a cure. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression?! It releases "endorphins" into the bloodstream, producing a sense of happiness and leaving you with a feeling of Aaaaaaaaahhhh......

OMG Sex actually relieves headaches?! A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose wakakkaka.

OKOK now in short the more sex you have, the more you will be offered. I need a sexually active body! Oh i forgot about the last thing that they mentioned. Sex gives off greater quantities of chemicals called "pheromones". These sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

World "Cup"

I've heard about Octopus Hand but I didn't imagine it would be like this. Sweet!

DON'T PRESS! MY BLOG HATES IT!

WTF Wei!!!

I getting really annoyed here! I went to this site and it say "What's Your (Best) Sexual Skill?" It sounds promising so i did the survey by inserting my demographics, the usual stuff and this are the somewhat bogus results. Flirting skill I'm fine with that! BUT SEX skill 2% WTF??!!

What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?
Name:
Age:
Sex:	MaleFemale
Sexuality:	StraightGayBisexual
Flirting Skill Level - 5%
Kissing Skill Level - 74%
Cudding Skill Level - 20%
Sex Skill Level - 2%
Why They Love You	You are too sexy for words.
Why They Hate You	You're too good to be true.

Argh Month End!

Bangging my head on the table with both hands holding my head, reason?

Never like month end and don't know if i should really blog about this? Or just move on with life coz it's just another thing in life that you have to do. Things I hate doing at this time:-

• Need car maintanance
• Need car wash
• Need a hair cut
• Need to pay bills
• Need new shoes
• Need DVDs
• Need Sex

.... and people can just walk pass and say what's the wrong with you??!