Thursday, March 10, 2005

Conspiracy McTheory

I had friends who wrote about "Milo", Beer and liquor but here I am today is to share with the world a conspiracy theory. Jang jang jang.....

I have been victimized! You read me right. I have been taken advantage of by a huge fast food chain for the sole purpose of exploiting my dining habits for profit. This is not about hamburgers, cheeseburgers or what goes in on the hamburgers and cheeseburgers. Although that processed cheese crap scares the hell out of me.

No, this is about something much more serious, so much so that it could possibly bring with it the downfall of all of humanity. I am a soda addict. Actually, that doesn't sound right. To be totally accurate, I am a Coke addict. And I blame McDonald's. That's right. M-little C-D-O-N-A-L-D-apostrophe-S.

Call me crazy. Call me paranoid. Call me whatever you want. Just don't call me after 12am. But I think they've put something in those soda (100% caffeine dose) that is causing millions of unsuspecting fast food junkies (uh, like me) to order supersize drinks (I was intrusively tempted to order Large size instead of a small size coke) caused my stomach to bloat, tooth decay, fart and burp repeatedly. What exactly is in that syrup and carbonated water concoction? It certainly can't be something that comes from the Coca-Cola factories. That would be too obvious. I think that there's a conspiracy a kilometre between every McDonald's to target me. That's right. Just me.

So it is with this information that I am doing what many a ignorant individual is doing in Klang Valley right now. I am going to sue McDonald's. And if the makamah don't buy the Coke theory? In that case I'll be forced protest by driving with a full cup of McDonald's hot coffee placed perilously between my thighs. hmmf!

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