To some of you dear readers who had followed my blog writing journey, they will know I've murdered a rat with my car. Yes I admit it then but now hear me out. Now here's a blog about my encounter with a squirrel. You know those neighbourhood squirrel that runs around and shit on your car, dog and clothings? These mammals just don't give a damn, do they?
It all began when I set off bright and early this morning for work. I was driving my car still in my neighbourhood, merrily humming to Light and Easy radio station and suddenly a squirrel came out of no where and walk to the middle of the road and perched there. I slowed, of course. I didn't want to hit any poor bastard after all, anymore, but damn if they cared. I just called it a "He" since his balls are quite visible from where I was watching. He just sat there, staring down 2 tons of car like it was a walnut. I mean, he didn't even budge. So I drove forward slowly. I nudged my car towards him. Nope, nada, he's still staring me down, just sitting there on his ass, little black shinny eyes staring at me, daring me to try something that he'll make me regret again. I was in a bit of a rush, so I started to try to slowly veer around him. He didn't care. He watched me try, then at the last minute, he turns around all no challenge and slowly, slowly for God's sake, skitters off to a grass area where he proceeds to lazily climb a tree. No doubt that once perched on his branch, he promptly began giving me the squirrely movement equivalent to the middle finger and verbally abusing me using various colorful terms such as 'Dickhead' and 'car-asshole'. My point is, what is the world coming to when the Goddamn squirrels don't even get out of the way anymore? So you see the Rat's death last 2 months is not my fault at all. They just want to be rat macho! Before long, they'll be setting up roadblocks and storming our homes with parang. Drop some peanuts for them, it might just stall their revolution on the human kind.
geez!
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